God gives second chances

To say that God gives second chances is a bit of anunderstatement.  I mean, it’s like sayingthat the internet is useful or that women are complicated.  The truth is so much more than that.  I wonder if I took a tally in my life of allthe stupid things that I have ever done, every sin, every foible, every baddecision, misstep, evil intent, wrong choice…how much would they add upto?  Thousands upon thousands, Isuspect.  And yet God’s grace issufficient for every single one of them.

Sometimes after I do something particularly boneheaded Ifeel guilty or ashamed about it.  Iconfess the sin to God and make it right. But sometimes I wonder if he will really forgive me.  Of course he will, and he does, but I stillwonder for a moment.  I wonder because Iam human and can’t fathom forgiving someone that many times. 

I struggle forgiving someone twice.

The mystery and sheer audacity of God’s grace moves me.  His mercy is so vast that it creates in me asense of awe, wonder and even fear.  Idon’t understand how it can be so, but I believe it is.

I am so thankful that God forgives, forgives, and forgivesagain.  On the verge of a brand new year,let this be a refreshing thought.

Knowing vs. Experiencing

My adopted son Matthew had never seen snow in Ethiopia.  (That would be weird.)  But he knew of snow, and he saw pictures of hisnew siblings in the snow.  When it snowedearly this year, he seemed unimpressed. We thought he would be more excited. He looked out the window and shrugged his shoulders.  We tried to get him excited about it, but hewas not.

But then all the kids got their snow gear on.  Hats, gloves, scarves, snow pants…all werelayered up for maximum warmth and limited mobility.  Matthew did not like this much either.  He was hot and itchy.  But then we went outside.  The snow was perfect for packing.  We made snowballs, and snowmen, and snowangels.  We rolled around in it and threwit and enjoyed it.  Matthew especiallyliked knocking down the completed snowmen. Doh! 

Matthew loved the snow. He shrieked and giggled and laughed. He was overjoyed in it.  When itwas time to go in, he objected.  Hewanted to stay outside for hours.

I was thinking of this event, and the difference betweenknowing something and experiencing something. One can be objective, cold, calculated. The other can be known, felt, accepted. It’s hard to put into words the difference.  It’s much easier to describe.  The same is true of knowing about God andexperiencing God.  We can know Godwithout drawing close to him, without being passionate about him, without fullyembracing the new life in him. 

So when it comes to your relationship with God, go jump inthe snow!

Finally understanding the incarnation

I’m not sure where I heard this story years ago, but it helpsthe way I think about the incarnation—that God the Son would enter the world asa lowly human—that he would humble himself like this.

A man’s family left him at home as they travelled to churchon a snowy Christmas morning.  He did notbelieve in church.  He did not believe inChristmas.  He did not understand why Godwould send his son into the world to live and to die, and to beresurrected. 

The snow was coming down harder and harder.  The man looked out the window and noticedsome baby birds having trouble in it.  Hewas afraid they would die as the snow came down in sheets.  The man put on his winter coat, hat, gloves,boots and went outside to help the little birds.  First he tried shooing them into the barn,where it was warm and dry.  But everytime he came near to them, they would flutter away and get deeper into thesnow.  Then he tried laying down somebird seed in a pathway to the barn, hoping that they would follow thetrail.  They would have none of it.  Then he tried getting close enough to thebirds to catch them and carry them, but again, the birds were more terrified ofhim than they were of the snowstorm. 

The man was moved with compassion as he realized that thebirds were going to die.  He foundhimself wiping tears from his eyes.  Andas he did a thought flashed though his mind. “If only I could become a little bird! Then I could lead them into the warmth and safety of the barn.  Surely they would follow me then.  Then I could rescue them!”  And just as the man came to this conclusion,he heard the church bell ring in the distance. 

And that’s when it hit him. He finally understood what the incarnation was all about. 

Merry Christmas!

Captured by the Hunger Games

Although “young adult fiction” is not usually my cup of tea,I have enjoyed the wildly best-selling The Hunger Games, by SuzanneCollins.  I was predicting it was goingto become a movie, and apparently it will be. The story is about a young girl in a desolate future who participates ina state-mandated annual contest.  Thecontest is composed of randomly selected children, and ends when all but one ofthem are killed.  It is a riveting, albeit depressing, concept, and Collins does a great job painting apicture of a disturbing future through the eyes of a teenage girl.

Maybe it’s because I have a teenaged girl of my own now thatI found the book compelling.  But most likely it’sthe reason I like every good story—because it contains elements of the GrandStory.  I have had this theory that anygood story (despite the medium—movie, book, spoken, etc.) is good because ithas borrowed off of the story that resonates within all of our hearts.  It happens to be the same story that wecelebrate at Christmastime, the love of God poured out sacrificially throughhis son Jesus.  It is the story ofCreation, fall, redemption and restoration. It is the story that has a birth, a life, a death, a resurrection, andtransformation.  If you look closeenough, you can see these threads woven into any story that has ever capturedyour imagination, and that's because God put them there. 

What’s the best story you have read or watched recently?

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Giving your testimony at church

I am giving my testimony at church this Sunday along withsome others.  The rules have been thesame as long as I can remember: tell about your life before Christ, tell abouthow you came to know him, and tell about life since.  But my life doesn't really fit that neatly however.  Does yours? 

I came to know Christ in a childlike way when I was only 4years old.  But it stuck.  It was real, which was proven by my lifeafter.  Our church life was occasional,and my dad would say later in life that he wasn’t a true believer yet.  My parents divorced when I was 9, but somehowby God’s grace, I received a call to ministry when I was 10.  I knew I was going to become a pastor (whichI did).  Life went downhill after thedivorce economically and in most every way. But by age 13 I had the classic teenage “re-dedication” of my life toChrist.  It was the time when I made myfaith my own.  By 17 I was headed off toBible college, then marriage, then seminary, church job, kids, adoption, etc. 

The point is, I didn’t have a very long “before.”  What I have is an amazing God who chose tograb hold of me at an early age for no apparent reason.  I know a God who tapped a nobody on theshoulder to do ministry, and then gave him the ability to  pull it off. I worship the God of providence (provision plus direction), who at everyjuncture of my life, provided what was needed to move in his direction. 

Through his son Jesus, he has given me a future and a hope.

Praying on Survivor

We were watching the show Survivor the other night and aninteresting thing was taking place.  Ok,please stay with me despite the fact that I just admitted to watching Survivor.  This season of the show is littered with self-professedChristians.  One team has made it a habitof praying together--closing their eyes, joining their hands and praying.  They sometimes pray to win challenges, whichbrings us back to this post. 

But on Wednesday night, one of the devout declared that “Godtold him” who to vote for.  On animpulse, he switched his vote and even gave up his immunity to someoneelse.  The problem was, one of histeammates decided that God also told him who to vote for, and as a result, thefirst guy ended up getting voted out.

I know, I know, a bit confusing if you don’t watch theshow.  But the question that arises isthis: if God told them both to do something different, were they really listening toGod? 

I do believe that God speaks to people.  But I believe that it is generally not inmiraculous fashion as many people claim. He may speak to us in a “still, small voice” that is the Holy Spiritprompting us to do something for others, or say no to a temptation, orsacrifice for another.  I think that thereason so many of us want to say that “God told me” is because we really dowant to have a divine connection.  Unfortunately, we may also be looking for aleg up on others--some power, if you will.  For instance, in the realityshow, God speaking was being used as a tactic to manipulate who the otherswould vote for. 

Pray that God would lead you, but don’t be disappointed ifhis speaking to you is not as miraculous or overt as some people claim.  The good news is that his voice will becomemore and more apparent, the more you listen to it.  

Is Tim Tebow getting divine help?

I must admit I am a little nervous.   This Sunday the red hot Denver Broncos areplaying the team that my family loves. The recent streak of success from a team that doesn't have the stats orplayers to back it up is mind boggling. It is toying with my theology a bit. God doesn't help sports teams win…does he?  But watching the Broncos come back from gamesthey should lose, and do it in glorious fashion, seems nothing short of…biblical. 

But even Tim himself does not believe that God weighs in onfootball scores.  On Sunday, some engagingcommentary came from the likeable Bob Costas who said: “[Tebow] has thegood sense, and good grace, to make it clear he does not believe God takes ahand in the outcome of games.”  But ifthat’s the case, what’s happening?  Howis this scrappy guy, who is losing the game during the first 3 quarters,suddenly become a hero in the fourth?  Game after game after game.  Hereminds me of Samson in the Old Testament, where Samson would suddenly befilled with God’s Spirit to do some glorious physical feat and by so doingbring glory to God.

Ok, Tebow as Samson? That’s a bit of a stretch.  But ishe getting divine help?  Yes, actually, he is.  God may not be in the business of selectingwhich team wins, but he certainly is in the business of helping those who bringglory to his name.  That help may bespiritual or physical.  It may be subtleor drastic.  But God does it all thetime.  Tebow used to wear Philippians4:13 on his “eye black” back in college. That verse claims: “I can do all things through Christ who strengthensme.”  Tebow certainly seems to be provingthat verse true.

I don’t know if Denver will beat the Patriots thisSunday.  I still don’t think that God is reallyconcerned about the final score.  But Ido know that God loves Tim Tebow.  But healso loves Tom Brady…and he loves me…and he loves you too.   I alsoknow that God will receive glory, with or without Tim Tebow, and with orwithout us.

But wouldn’t you rather be on his team?

Lust

We’ve been working through the 10 commandments in our youngadult ministry.  When we hit the 8^thone, we read how Jesus describes its true meaning:

“You have heard that it was said, ‘You shall not commitadultery.’ But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully hasalready committed adultery with her in his heart.”  (Matthew 5:27)

All of a sudden the 8^th commandment got much,much harder for our 20-somethings group to follow.

I was eating lunch this week with a young adult who said hefinally gave up “P&M”.  He said it ina nonchalant way, as if I should know what he meant.  After a few moments of him talking, I interrupted.

“What’s P&M?”

“You know,” he replied, “porn and masturbation.” 

“Oh.”

One of the problems with lust is that it dehumanizes theobject.  It objectifies.  It takes that which is loved by God andtreats it as if it were an inanimate object…like dirt or trash.  It not only dehumanizes the object of lust,it does the same to the person lusting. I love the way the author of the Proverbs put it: “For on account of aharlot one is reduced to a loaf of bread.” (6:26).  Lust puts you on the pathto becoming less human.

For some more reading on the subject, check out this post. 

Spiritual but not religious

When I stopped home for a quick bite today at lunchtime,there was this full page add in the community paper for our local funeral home.  The headline asked: “Are you spiritual, butnot religious?”  If so, you should usetheir “Certified Celebrants” instead of a local pastor to perform your memorialservice.  (I am jealous at how muchcooler their title sounds than mine.  Also, Ithink that Donnie and Marie Osmond may have been certified celebrants.)  The ad then went on to list the variousoccasions where people would want a “non-religious” service, like, for your dearuncle Fred who always insisted that life was only about family but not about God.

It was an interesting ad campaign for two reasons.  It was interesting that the mass appeal for afuneral home was targeted to the non-religious. The marketers obviously recognized this as an unreached but significantgroup of people.  It made me wonder ifthe church believed the same.  Itwas also interesting because of the phrasing: “spiritual, but not religious,” aphrase that those of us in young adult ministry have been hearing for a verylong time. 

I have to admit that I roll my eyes a little bit with thisphrase.  I don’t think that a person reallymeans that they are spiritual but not religious.  I think that what they are really saying ismy religious beliefs are personal, and I don’t want someone else telling mewhat to do.  I think what they mean is theydon’t need to be part of “organized religion” in order to believe in God.  Or maybe they simply mean that they don’t particularlycare to get out of bed on a Sunday morning. 

But whatever the reason, this advertisement is on to something.  Churches should also be campaigning for thesouls of those who consider themselves “spiritual, but not religious.”  It’s the category of people that used to becalled “seekers.”  The ones who stillhaven’t found what they’re looking for.  Andmore importantly, it’s the category of people that Jesus loves.

What if?

There’s a group of people who have committed themselves toradical honesty.  The idea is, they willbe honest, and even brutally honest, in all they say and do.  Apparently, if their wife asks them if thisdress “makes my butt look big,” and it does, they will answer “Why yes honey,yes it does.”  Or if their wife asks thequestion every husband dreads: “do you think she is attractive?”, and they do,they will answer accordingly.  Yowzers!

Lately I have been studying the 10 commandments and the 9^thone is essentially the prohibition against lying.  I do not consider myself a liar and at timeshave even taken this belief to extremes like the people mentioned above.  But in lieu of so many recent public andharmful lies, as well as the innumerable amount of little ones, it’s hard notto wish people took this commandment more serious than they actually do. 

What if when people said, “the check’s in the mail,” itactually was?  What if when people saidthey would “call you right back,” they actually did?  What if when a person RSVP’d, they actuallyshowed up?  What if someone actually toldyou when your butt looked big or when you had spinach in your teeth or that youforgot to zip up your fly when you came from the men’s room? (Ok, now this isgetting personal!)  What if, instead ofpassing the blame, we took the blame on ourselves?  What if, instead of making ourselves lookgood with our “little white lie,” we made ourselves look, well, human, with thetruth?  What if, when you were doingsomething crummy, someone gently but truthfully pointed it out to you? 

What if?

What do you tell your kids about Santa Claus?

There seems to be only two schools of thought about discussingSanta Claus with our children.  Either weperpetuate the myth that he is the giver of the gifts and the centerpiece of Christmastime, or we crush their innocentchildhood dreams by saying that he is made up. The problem is, once they find out that he really IS made up, they maybe unsure what else we have told them is made up.  (Is Jesus a made up character too?)  Plus if you are a Christ-follower, you have the added dilemma that Santa may subversively become the central character of Christmasrather than Jesus.

I believe that a third way is in order, and it seems to havebeen effective with my own children. This third way seeks to embrace the fun and “magic” of the spirit ofChristmas and Santa Clause, but does not take away from the centrality of Jesusor inadvertently lie to our kids.  Thisthird way simply allows them to believe that Santa is a fun character aroundthe Christmas story.  He is made up, of course, justlike the cartoons they watch are made up. But it is not that he doesn’t exist at all.  He is a fun addition to the Christmastradition similar to the Christmas tree or eggnog (though I must admit myabsolute disdain for eggnog…oh, and setting up Christmas trees).  Kids imaginations at early ages are allowedto run free with thoughts of Santa and reindeer the way they might fantasizeabout other fictional characters. 

The difference is, at no point did we ever tell our kidsthat Santa is a real person, or that he is the originator of the gifts, or sendthem the wrong message that he is the centerpiece of Christmas.  Because he isn’t.  Jesus is. And this same precious baby Jesus that was born on Christmas day is thesame Lord of all who died on the cross and also rose again from the dead torescue his people from sin and death.  Heis the Son of God, the Resurrection, the Way, the Truth, The Life, the Deliverer.  He is the reason for the season.  

In fact, he is the reason for…everything.

A small rock

I memorized this verse when I was a kid and it stuck:

“His divine power has given us everything we need for lifeand godliness” (2 Peter 1:3).

The other day, someone told me that my life was like a smallrock that was chipped off a bigger one. They said that the smaller rock contained everything that the bigger onedid.  They said that the smaller rock mayseem insignificant or small on its own, but it isn’t, because of what it is apart of. 

Did you ever feel like a small rock?

When we feel insignificant or weak, we need to realize thatGod grafted us into his family and has given us everything we need to succeedin our spiritual lives.  He’s given useverything we need for life and godliness! By his grace we are not destined to fail, we are destined to succeed!

Absurd Christmas commercials

Ok, am I the only one that thinks it’s strange that everyother car commercial this season is a person buying a car for his/her spouse?  I just saw this Lexus commercial where thewife gives her husband a Christmas present. It’s a small box, and he opens it to find a state of the art smartphone.  I think, “wow, nice gift!”  But then you realize that the smart phone isreally there to operate the $70,000 Lexus that is waiting for him in thedriveway.

Usually the ads are the husband buying his wife a car, whichalways leave me wondering what would really happen after the commercialends.  Like, the husband hands over thekeys, she smiles and looks amazed.  Thegratuitous car shot appears with the black BMW gleaming in the sunlight…andthen cut.  In my mind she then slaps himacross the face.  She starts yellingabout how could he dare spend that much of their hard-earned money withoutconsulting her.  She makes him return thecar and she puts the money in a CD for their children’s college fund.  He ends up being a donkey.

It also makes me wonder what women who see these commercialsthink.  Do they think, “what a jerk”?  Or is it more like, “I obviously married the wrong guy!”  I have to admit, I feel a little insecurewhen I compare what I can buy my wife to what that guy in the commercial can buy.  I feel the same way when I see the diamond commercialsevery Valentine’s day.  Apparently forjust $20,000 worth of jewelry I can secure my wife’s heart forever!

What do you think? How much is too much to spend for a Christmas present?

The missing ingredient

The other day my wife was away in the afternoon so I thoughtI would make spaghetti and meatballs.  Ihad never made meatballs before, but I thought: how hard could it be?  There was this nice little recipe right onthe side of the spaghetti noodle box that seemed to be written with me inmind. 

The problem was I didn’t have all of the ingredients.  It said I needed bread crumbs, for instance,but we didn’t have any.  After scanningthe house I decided that Lipton onion soup mix would certainly do the trick.  It said to add some freshly chopped parsley.  I found some interestingingredients from our spice rack that I figured would do for an amplesubstitute.  (I wonder what this nutmegwill taste like?)  The recipe called foreggs, so I added water. 

As I mashed the ingredients together with the ground beef, Iwas immediately realizing that it wasn’t going to work.  I ended up cooking it all together andcalling it a “meat sauce.”  When my kidstried to eat it they were polite, but ultimately unimpressed.  My oldest took a few bites before sayingkindly, “I really had a big lunch today. I’m just not very hungry.”  Theplates started to scrape their way into the garbage can.  My feelings were not hurt; I thought it was funny.

It occurred to me later that each of us is trying to followa “recipe” in life.  The problem is wedon’t have all of the right ingredients to make it work.  We try all kinds of substitutes and mash themall together hoping that our life’s concoction will be palatable.  But it isn’t. We try sex or relationships or money or success or power to fill thevoid.  But Jesus comes along and declareshimself to be the missing ingredient.  Hesays that he completes the recipe that we cannot complete on our own.  And boy does he ever produce a wonderfulfeast. 

Hey, pass me another one of those meatballs.

Forgiveness

After giving a talk last week about honoring your parents, afew people approached me about the unthinkable: how can I respect my fatherwhen he has abused me?

Tough question.

There is no pat or easy answer for this of course.  There is only the hope that God’s grace willprevail in our human hearts—that he will give us the ability to broach theunthinkable--that he will enable us toforgive someone who doesn't deserve it—someone who has even hurt usdeeply. 

Talking to the people who were abused, it became evidentthat the desire to forgive was fully there. God had put it there.  Moreproperly, Jesus had put it there by modeling it on the cross.

To each I reminded that it takes time.  You can’t expect it to happen overnight.  And also that we must choose to forgive.  It is not primarily an act of emotion, but ofour will.  You may not feel like doingit, but that does not mean that you cannot do it, or that the forgiveness isn’treal.  Emotion is a tricky obstacle whenit comes to forgiving a painful past.

But in one story, the person is ready to go for it—to forgivea horrifying past.  She is ready to offeran olive branch to someone who did not ask for it, and does not deserveit. 

And in this is the mystery of divine grace.

Holidays

My kids are making Christmas lists.  Oh yes they are.  And they want really big things…things thatcost a lot of money.  So I told them allto get a job. 

Our adopted son Matthew has only lived in the country forabout 9 weeks.  But he already knows whatChristmas is all about. 

Presents. 

That’s right I said it. 

We all know that Christmas is not about presents.  It’s about the birth of Jesus.  It’s about the incarnational message of hopethat came to earth some 2,000 years ago, born of a virgin, born in amanger.  It’s about the love of God shownthrough the sending of his son…sent on a mission.  He was sent to die for us and also to breakthe power of sin and death.  Andthanksgiving is a great time to prepare our hearts for that season, to reallybe thankful for all that God has given us.

Or then again, maybe it’s just about buying stuff.

One Day at a Time

I remember my mother putting a bumper sticker on her car whenI was a kid that said “One Day at a Time.” Of course this is one of the popular slogans of AlcoholicsAnonymous.  At the time, I didn't reallythink of it as anything helpful for my own life, but I could see it washelpful for her.  It wasn't until later that I realized the slogan came from the words of Jesus in Matthew6:34 when he says “don’t worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry aboutitself.”  

In other words, one day at a time.

Jesus was talking about battling worry, but hiswords can be used to battle just about any human frailty.  It’s really hard to defeat a struggle whenyou think of having to defeat it every single day, all the time, for the restof your life.  It’s a big relief to realize that you don’t have to beat your struggles everyday.  You just have to beat them this day.

So try it.  Strugglingin a particular area?  Add Jesus’ wordsto your arsenal against that struggle.  Only pray that God will carry you through yourstruggle this day.  You will see, like so many others, thattaking things one day at a time is the way to go.

Respecting your parents

bad parenting?

I gave a talk the other night to twenty-somethings about avery popular topic—how to respect your parents. Actually, it wasn’t at all a popular topic.  Still, I was surprised at the response.  It seemed to strike a nerve.  One guy said he called his parents up in themiddle of the message just to tell them he respected them.  I never had that happen before.

There’s something intrinsic in the 5^thcommandment to honor your father and mother—something tied to our relationshipto God as Father. It seems that if we cannot get that commandment right, thanit is difficult to respect God himself. Many have said that the first four commandments are about ourrelationship to God and the latter are about our relationship to eachother.   If that’s true, then the 5^thcommandment is the first instruction on how to relate well to others.

But you may object: how can I respect my parents when theyhave hurt me?  How do I respect a parentwho has abandoned me?  How do I respect aparental relationship that was abusive? I am sometimes surprised that God doesn’t qualify the 5^th commandment.  He never says: respect your father and motherif they were good parents.  We are not asked to like what they have done,or even obey them as adults, but simply to respect them.

So maybe you have some relationships to mend.  Maybe you have an apology to give.  Or maybe you simply need to offer forgiveness.  The holidays are coming up.  What better time to start on a new journey ofrespecting your parents?

Are you satisfied?

I know that Snickers really satisfies.  I know this, because we bought about 5 bigbags of them for Halloween, and then our neighborhood got pounded with snow andeveryone lost power.  Now there are dozensof “fun size” snickers lying around my house, just begging to be consumed. 

Of course, they only satisfy my hunger, not my soul.

What I don’t always know is how to spiritually satisfy myself.  Yes, yes, I know the biblicalanswers.  And they are true.  But unfortunately, I don’t always utilizethem.  At least not at first.  Sometimes I try other ways to findsatisfaction in my life.  Like eatinganother Snickers or watching television.

There are so many ways to try to find a quick happinessfix.  But we all know they don't work.  I heard Arthur Brooks debate JimWallis the other night at Messiah college. He said that so many Americans are unhappy because they still think thatmoney buys them happiness.  Aftersurveying dozens of lottery winners, he realized they have the same thing incommon.  They were more unhappy afterthey won than before.  Plus, now many of theirlives are in shambles from the unintended consequences of unearned income.

The only thing that truly satisfies is a relationship withJesus Christ.  It is drinking deep fromthe wells of God’s love that leads to satisfaction and true joy (Is.12:3).  But remember, some dissatisfactionthis side of heaven is normal.  We will notbe really fully satisfied till we are in the immersive presence of God in heaven.  

Fear is a repellent to Jesus

So I was watching this movie called “The Green Lantern” theother night and noticed a cool biblical idea. The skinny is that the “green” part of the green lantern represents hiswill power.  The more will power, themore green.  The  more green, the more strength.  The opposite of his “will” is his fear.  The more fear, the less green.  You get the idea.

When the ultimatum of the movie is thrown down, the choiceis clear: will the hero succumb to fear or find the strength of his will?  I would substitute the word “will” for theword “faith” to make the biblical parallel more obvious. 

And herein lies our dilemma every single day of ourChristian lives.  Will we succumb to fearor grow in our belief?  The good news isthat we have a power source that is unlike any other.  The Holy Spirit promises to be with uswherever we go, no matter what we encounter. God does not expect us to draw from our own will power but gives us thestrength, through our faith, to overcome fear.

There is an interesting verse that depicts theopposite:
Then all the people of the region of the Gerasenes asked Jesus to leave them, because they were overcome with fear.  So he got into the boat and left.  
(Luke 8:37)

Fear is a repellent to Jesus.

But faith draws him close.

My first mentor

I was fortunate to have a mentor early on in my life.  Pastor Phil took me under his wing when I wasstill only a high school student.  Hestarted teaching me biblical Greek one summer, and then theology, and generallyhow to live a good Christian life.  I soakedit all in.  His words affected me greatly.  At that age I was like a sponge.  I feel very blessed to have had a mentor likethat, and am deeply indebted to him.  Ourmentoring relationship continued throughout my  seminary years, and was formalized when he eventuallyhired me.  One day it came to an end, but I will always be the benefactor of its impact.

No matter how many great tools we have at our disposal,there will never be an invention to replace life on life mentoring.  Wikipedia is cool, but there are some thingsit can’t teach.  Google will answer manyquestions, but it will not guide us to the right conclusions. Reading books will give you a huge boost, but the influence of unmet persons has its limits.  Entering into a serious mentoringrelationship that spans the course of many years will change the trajectory ofyour life, and make you someone better thanyou would be capable of on your own.

Two questions that are helpful to ask every once in a while(despite your age!): who am I currently mentoring?  And, who is mentoring me?  If you can’t answer both of these questions,it’s time to give each an answer.  Youwon’t regret it!  The value is priceless.

OMG or the Tetragrammaton?

The ancient Hebrews had a name for God that was unpronounceable. They called it the “tetragrammaton” because it has 4 consonants in a row with no vowels. We would transliterate that name to Yahweh. The idea was, this name of God is so holy, so revered, so other, that it should not ever be uttered.

A little while back I wrote a post taking the stance that swearing is wrong for the Christ-follower. It was not a popular position, but I think it is a biblical idea. Words have power, and how we use words is more important than we realize. The two types of swearing are obscenities and profanities. They both sound like what they are. One is about using words that our current culture deems obscene, the other is about using the name of God in a way that is profane. Profanity is whenever we misuse the name of God. In all the words of our vocabulary, none are as sacred or important as the names of God.

I fear that the letters OMG have now replaced our reverence for the name of God. In a recent Nightline, a 14 year old girl said that OMG doesn’t even mean “Oh my God” anymore. She said that it now is simply understood as “Wow, really?” That’s probably true, as words will often drift. But it also tells us something about how far we are moving away from the reverence of God’s name. When we saturate the name of God with a texting acronym, it begins to lose its meaning.

Another girl in the Nightline interview, Meghan- 15, said: “I think originally the term ‘Oh My God’ was probably a really heavy term…but if you say a word enough times it will lose its meaning.” Also true. It’s called “semantic satiation.” (Thank you Wikipedia!) When you misuse or overuse a word, it starts to lose its meaning.

Of course all of this is really a matter of the heart. Jesus said that “out of the heart the mouth speaks.” How we speak God’s name comes from the posture of our heart towards him.

So how’s your heart?

How to level up in your spiritual life

Sometimes I wish my spiritual life were more like a video game. If you accomplished certain goals each day, you would receive points. They would be called “goodies,” of course, and if you got enough goodies, you would level up. Each level would put you one step closer to God and would allow you to be spiritually stronger and thus have a more fulfilling life. Throughout the day you would still encounter various challenges or “baddies.” When baddies were overcome, you would end up with more power-ups and XP, and would level up much more easily. Occasionally you would end up having to defeat a boss, which (like any good video game) inevitably turn up at the end of important levels. Beating a boss would give you massive XP, making your character stronger than ever.

So today might look like this (Saturday):
• Playing with the kids in the snow = +20XP
• Playing a game on my new phone = -5XP
• Writing this post = +10
• Not helping my wife prepare dinner = -20
• Shoveling snow off the walkway for trick or treaters = +10 (Wait, what?)

So, not exactly a level up day, but not going backwards either.

Although this kind of thinking seems appealing, of course a works system would break down to something ugly. God’s system of grace is a whole lot better:

Good day = Loved by God.
Bad day = Still loved by God.

I think i'll stick with grace.

What I don’t want technology to do for me

I was watching football with my sons last weekend, and a commercial came on for the new Iphone 4s highlighting its amazing new technology, Siri. Now I love techy stuff as much as the next guy, but this commercial really creeped me out. These were the things people asked Siri to do, and the things that Siri did.

Siri, read me the [text] message.

Play my running mix.

What’s the traffic like here?

Text my wife I’m going to be 30 minutes late.

Is it going to be chilly in San Francisco this weekend?

How many cups are in 12 ounces?

Set my timer for 30 minutes.

I love when technology helps me in my life. I love when it does things that make my life easier. But I couldn’t help wondering: do I really want Siri to replace my brain? Do I want Siri to talk to my wife? Do I want Siri to know things that I should probably already know?

The calculator was a helpful tool when it came out, but I was not allowed to use one in math class growing up. The reason is simple: my teachers wanted me to learn how to use my brain. It was same reason my English teacher balked when I tried to bring a dictionary to my spelling test..or when my geography teacher made me take that globe off my desk.

Right after the Siri commercial there was a car commercial that showed a car parallel parking. By itself. The guy lifted his hands off the wheel, and the car did the rest. Perfect park. Sickening.

I don’t want my car to park itself. I have spent years perfecting my parking skills (and I take some pride in them). Is it really more satisfying to have your car park for you?

Ok, my Andy Rooney rant is over. I wonder what you think. How much is too much? What do you want or NOT want technology to do for you?

Adoption story (video)

This past Sunday, I had the privilege of giving the message at our church on “The cost of family.”  It was part of a greater series on the cost of following Jesus.  I decided to make the message very personal and share stories from our recent adoption journey.  Since adoption is one of my favorite things to blog about, I decided to put the video here.  It is a full length message, but I hope that you find it encouraging and worth your time.  I would love it if is shared with anyone who might find it helpful or is considering adoption!

The one thing you need to get right

I was at the Catalyst conference the other week, and this guy named Jon Tyson said this remarkable thing. It has stuck with me for days; I can’t get it out of my head. He said, “If you only get one thing right, get prayer right.”
Love that. It’s the kind of thing I would expect Jesus to say. Like this fictitious conversation:

“So, do you mean Jesus, that I should care less about my weight and more about prayer?” “Yes”, he says. “I don’t really care too much for skinny jeans.” “Do you mean I should care less about whether or not I got my 30 minutes on the elliptical in today?” “Umm, also yes.” “But I am really worried about my work. I haven’t finished everything that I need to get done this week. Still Prayer?” “Yes, still prayer. I want to ease your burdens.” “But what about my family, Jesus? I thought you always say that family should come first. Does prayer trump family?” “Silly question," he says. “Prayer will only help your family. Get prayer right.”

When we get prayer right, so many pieces of our lives start to fall into place. Worry, doubt, fear…all seem to wash away. Issues that seemed so burning a moment ago…not so much after prayer.

Jesus becomes clearer with prayer.

God becomes closer through prayer.

Needs become blessings by prayer.

Life becomes meaningful with prayer.

Worry becomes worship by prayer.

Try it out. Find a quiet place. Pour your heart out to God. Breathe him in. Feel the therapy of prayer.

Get prayer right.

What Stephen Colbert Said

I have been reading the excellent book, You Lost Me by David Kinnaman. It’s a follow up to his best seller UnChristian, only focused on why younger Christians are leaving the church. In his chapter called “Nomads and Prodigals,” he talks about why some high profile people stepped out of their faith for a while. Here is what Stephen Colbert said about finding his way back to faith (p. 59).

Yeah. It was a college angst thing. But once I graduated from college, some Gideon literally gave me a box of The New Testament, Psalms and Proverbs on a street in Chicago. I took one and opened it right away to Matthew, Chapter 5, which is the opening of the Sermon on the Mount. That whole chapter is essentially about not worrying. I didn’t read it—It spoke to me, and it was an effortless absorption of the idea. Nothing came to me in a thunderbolt, but I thought to myself, “I’d be dumb not to reexamine this.”

Wow! What a testament to the power of the Gospel! (No pun intended.)

I have the privilege of interviewing David Kinnaman at our church (Living Word) this coming Tuesday, the 25th as part of our young adult ministry. If you are in the York, PA area, come and join us at 7:00!  (It's open to all ages.)

What’s your take on this quote?

One secret to leadership

I do not fashion myself a great leader. But there is at least one secret to leadership that I have learned in life. The strange thing is, although I have never read it in any leadership book, nor heard about it at any conference, it is most certainly a game changer.

It is simply this: do not fear anyone. So many of us live in fear of someone else. What will they think? Will they hate my idea? What if it doesn’t work? What will people say? What does my boss/spouse/friend/co-worker feel about me?

When one becomes a slave to these kinds of thoughts, he or she cannot lead in any capacity. Take a silly example. Your friends and you are at blockbuster video. None of you can figure out what video to rent. The reason? Simple. No one wants to pick a movie that everyone hates. It is fear of what others will think. Or maybe you are in a staff meeting at your job. You have an idea that will make a difference, but you hold back because of fear. On and on you could go with these kind of examples. Many times the difference between leadership and followership comes from a direct fear of others.

So who are you afraid of? Say the names out loud. Then ask yourself, why am I afraid of them? Then pray to God and ask him to take the fear away. He will most certainly do it! You will be amazed at the freedom this brings in your life!

For a really good blog on leadership, check out my friend Brian’s blog here.

Matthew's first day at church

This week we took Matthew to church for the first time. With his limited experiences in America, our big, busy church was a bit daunting. My wife took him over to see his 13 year old sister, who was leading worship that morning for our junior high school ministry. Neither of us really thought about what his perception of seeing her on stage would be. He walked into a dimly lit room to see her singing into a mic, on a stage, with a full band. The lights were glistening down on her from above. The music was rocking, guitars blaring, drumbeats palpable. My daughter was leading vocals that day. Matthew looked up at her with eyes wide. He looked at his mom, then to her, then to his mom again. His mouth dropped open in amazement.

His look said: “I had no idea that my sister was a rock star!”

From his Ethiopian background, the only other person he could relate her to in that moment was probably what he had seen from American television over the last 3 weeks. She was Hannah Montana.

I was thinking of how often our perspective is askew. How often we look upon someone, outside of a context, and think: “wow, they really have it all together.” But the reality is often much different. But how could we know? Our limited context leaves us with a false reality. We may idolize a celebrity because of what we outwardly perceive. But deep down that person would gladly trade their life for yours (think Charlie Sheen). Or we may do this with a neighbor or a friend or even a pastor.

So the next time you find yourself celebritizing (made up word alert!) someone, pause. It doesn’t help them, and it certainly doesn’t help you.

How much is enough?

My newly adopted son Matthew has only been an American for about 3 weeks, but he is getting used to the perks. Coming from the poorest area, of the second poorest country in the world, you might think that it would take him some time to look for the “extras” in life. But it didn’t. Because that’s just not in our human nature. Yesterday he asked me for some water. “Wahalu, wahalu!” I started to pour out water from the tap (as I would do for myself). “NO! NO!” He then pointed to the fridge, where the Brita filtered water is kept. I started pouring from it. “Yes, daddy, yes...Wahalu.”

I smiled but cringed at the same time.

In his shared bedroom with his older brother Micah, he began to point out the discrepancies. He is not able to rationalize that his siblings have been storing up stuff for many years, and he has only had 3 weeks to do so. He pointed to the closet full of his brother’s stuff, and then he said: “Micah’s.” He pointed to three of the dresser drawers: “Micah’s, Micah’s, Micah’s. He pointed at the trophies and the things on top of the dresser: “Micah’s.” On and on this went.

This observation has little to do with my son Matthew, but has everything to do with our human condition. We may start out naked and without any possessions, but we learn very quickly to desire that which is better than what we currently have. We want more and more, better and better. We want what the other person has. We want and want and want. We are unsatisfied people who can never get enough. When we get more, we are unhappy still, and start looking for what's next.

That is, until we sit at the feet of Jesus and be still. We look up to him with pleasure and delight. We realize how fully satisfying he truly is. We ponder all that he has done for us in the past, and all that he will do for us in the future. The stuff begins to fade into the background. It slowly becomes Him alone. It is simply…Jesus.

Only…Jesus.

What Andy Stanley said

Besides tripping over an old lady in a wheel chair, the Catalyst conference last week had plenty to offer. One of the speakers, Andy Stanley, challenged us to “do for one, what you wish you could do for many.” (Of course, it may have been RANDY Stanley, as he apparently has a doppelganger.)

He said that the reason many of us don’t act on someone’s behalf is because we are overwhelmed by all the needs. He also said we may suffer from a fear of “fairness.” We feel that we can’t help one person out because then we will have to help out everyone. It’s only fair. You know this line. If you have kids, you probably use it all the time. “If I give you a car, I have to give your baby sister one too.” Or maybe at work, “If I make your copies, I’ll have to make them for everyone.” The problem with fairness, he said, is that it ended in the garden of Eden.

After my wife and I decided to adopt our son Matthew from Ethiopia, we found out he had two older sisters. It never really crossed my mind that if we adopted him, we would have to adopt them too. That is, until we were sitting in a meeting talking to our case worker and my wife asked about them. She wanted to know if we could find out if they were ever put up for adoption. And then came the direct question from our case worker: would you want to adopt them too? Humanly, I did not feel that we were capable in that moment of saying yes. But as soon as she asked the question, I found my eyes welling up with tears. In my heart I was saying, yes, yes we would. But we actually said that we didn’t know what we would do.

Andy Stanley had a good point. We can’t worry about fairness when making a decision to help somebody. We just need to help them. We shouldn’t play the “what if” game. We shouldn’t feel bad if we can’t help everyone. We should just roll up our sleeves, and do what we can in the moment.

Is there anything you’ve been putting off?

A funny thing happened on the way to the Catalyst Conference

So some friends and I are in Atlanta at the yearly Catalyst Conference. It’s a big Christian party, basically, filled with great worship and inspiring people. On the way from the airport we all boarded a shuttle to bring us to the baggage claim. Everyone got on board and grabbed a bar except for me. For some reason I opted not to grab a bar...Figured I would just freewheel it. You know, surfer style. Cuz that’s how I roll. I literally thought my balance was…that good.

The train started and pushed me back a step—which would have been fine, except there was a very old lady behind me. In a wheel chair. Not kidding, in a wheel chair. When I stepped back my foot got caught on her footrest. And boy did I fall.  Epic fall.  I fell on her and onto the floor. Two guys kind of caught me just as I was hitting the ground. They were laughing at me as they held me up.

I immediately felt bad for the little old lady. She looked like she felt bad, so I said: “That’s ok! That’s ok! I’m fine!” (I wasn’t actually fine.  My ego had a major bruise on it.) But then she said in a very angry tone: “NO! It’s NOT fine!” In front of my friends and strangers, she then informed me of just how silly I was, and also on the merits of holding onto the bar. “That is,” she said “why they are there."

Ok, so I guess the point is this. In every day moments in life, you and I have a choice. We have a choice to catch people when they are falling, or knock them down some more. It’s often tempting to revel in someone else’s mistakes or ignorance, or failure. But wouldn’t it be better if we took the time to build them up instead? I mean, let's really go out of our way to live out our faith with words and deeds!

What do you think?

Having a life mission statement

I thought (since I am soon over the hill) that it would be a good time to refresh my life mission statement. I have always sensed from God a certain direction or calling in my life. Through the years that calling has had more clarity as God has revealed my gifts, passions, and sense of his leading. Here is what I found myself writing down in the most recent version:

My purpose on earth is to “lead many to righteousness” by proclaiming the Story of Jesus in clear, fresh and relevant ways.

It’s not a perfect statement, but it sums up what I feel God’s call on my life is, in a way that is general enough to allow for his work, but specific enough to be helpful. Here’s some of the ways that a life mission statement can be really helpful.

1) It keeps you on track. Perhaps the most obvious, having a personalized mission that you are confident in will help you filter all kinds of decisions. From the big picture (should I take this new job?), to the everyday (what kinds of books should I be reading?).
2) It gives encouragement when you lose your way. It’s fairly common in life to get discouraged, especially in ministry. It’s easy to wonder if you are really doing what God made you to do. Having a personal mission written down can solidify what you already know is true about your life. It can keep you from getting derailed.
3) It will help you make good ministry decisions. Most people who work in ministry find it easy to fill up a week with work. But filling it up with the right things is a different matter. What activities should take priority over others? What events or activities should I be a part of? When should I say no to requests? These kinds of decisions can be paralyzing without a strong sense of personal vision or mission.
4) It will help you finish well. I was watching Andy Rooney on 60 minutes the other night. It was his last episode of a 33 year career with the show. He looked old, but he also seemed very content with his life. In the interview, he was asked the question: what would he do if he had life to do all over again. I wrote down his answer because I was so impressed by it. Here is what he said: “If I had my life to do over again, I would work on 60 Minutes. I would write a piece of my own every week. I would write it, and then I would read it. That’s what I would do.” In other words, he would do exactly what he had done. That’s because, despite his prickly personality, Andy Rooney had a strong sense of personal mission in this world. He knew what he was made to do, and he did it relentlessly.

And so should we.

Turning 40!

I’m turning 40 soon. It’s one of those ages that makes you pause and consider where you are in life. I don’t think 40 is old, but then I don’t think anyone really thinks of themselves as old. That’s because life goes by pretty fast, and so you never really feel like your age. Well, all except for your body that is. In anticipation of all the over-the-hill cards I will undoubtedly receive from my “friends,” I’ve compiled some of my favorite getting-old quotes. Feel free to add yours to the comments!

Life would be infinitely happier if we could only be born at the age of eighty and gradually approach eighteen. --Mark Twain

The secret of staying young is to live honestly, eat slowly, and lie about your age. --Lucille Ball

The really frightening thing about middle age is the knowledge that you'll grow out of it. --Doris Day

Middle age is that period in a man's life when he'd rather not have a good time than have to get over it. --Oscar Wilde

Old age ain't no place for sissies. --Bette Davis

The aging process has you firmly in its grasp if you never get the urge to throw a snowball. --Doug Larson

Old age is not so bad when you consider the alternatives. --Maurice Chevalier

A diplomat is a man who always remembers a woman's birthday but never remembers her age. --Robert Frost

Age is an issue of mind over matter. If you don't mind, it doesn't matter. --Mark Twain

Have another one?  Add it below!

When you're feeling worn out

I’ve just spent the last hour chasing balls down the street while my two youngest play outside. That’s after a long day at work in a week filled with twists and turns. I could go on with a list of all the reasons I feel worn out—but I won’t because we all have those kinds of lists. Plus that would be lame.

The point is, we all get tired. We all get fatigued. We all have a time when we wonder if we can keep doing that which God called us to do. We may feel like giving up.

The older I become, the more encouraged I am by the words of Isaiah the prophet who said that “even youths grow tired and weary, and young men stumble and fall but those who hope in the LORD will renew their strength” (Is. 40:30-31a). It’s comforting to realize that God is the one who gives us the strength we need to continue. It is he who sustains us. Our part of the equation is clear: hope. We hope in the Lord for his future, his providence, his will to be done.

I picture hope as a person smiling on the inside. She may be worn out and ready to give up on the outside, but inside is a deep-seeded contentment because of the One she trusts. He might be ready to call it quits, but he doesn’t, because inwardly he believes that God will finish the good work he started.

We have seen a number of celebrity pastors recently calling it quits on church ministry to go on to something different. I would not be the one to judge their motives. However I do wonder if any of them simply got worn out. Church work is tough business. I came across this anonymous quote recently: “Many of the great achievements of the world were accomplished by tired and discouraged men who kept on working.” I suspect the same is true in the local church.

So no matter who you are or what your situation is, hang in there. And if you need more strength, remember the prescription is hope.

One of these things is not like the other

Matthew, 5 and Kara, 6

So I’m getting a lot of stares these days. A person will look at me, and then they will look down my arm, which is attached to my adopted Ethiopian son’s little arm, and then look at him. Then they look at him, then at me. Repeat. It becomes one of those moments when you want to use that playground phrase that was popular in kindergarten: “take a picture, it’ll last longer.”

I actually wasn’t prepared for the kind of attention adopting Matthew would bring. We were told this would happen upon becoming an “inter-racial family,” but I guess I didn’t believe it. On the airplane coming home, my wife was convinced she was getting shoved by some people as they walked down the aisle. That’s because some Ethiopians view adoption as a negative. It feels to them like stealing their children. The guy who sold me shoes the other day wasn’t sure what to think either. He was African American and had this look on his face like, “where’s that kids father.” I wanted to ask him if he thought he looked “just like me.” (10 people have told me that Matthew looks “just like me.” And yes, I am counting...because it’s funny.)

An elderly lady thought it was the cutest thing seeing us together. She just kept on smiling the whole time we walked by, and shaking her head. I doubt she would have had that reaction if it was my other son with me. He doesn’t actually look that much like me, but he’s white, so there’s that. And I guess that’s what all the stares are really about.  It’s our superficial response to the first impression. It’s only been about a week, so I had better get used to it.

When we begin to see that we are literally part of God’s family, our differences begin to diminish. It no longer matters what we look like, or who our parents are. Our human identity, although important, becomes secondary to our spiritual identity as children of God. When we begin to believe this, the church will become a more ecclectic place, filled with all the beauty of all the nations.

What causes us to sin?

The Bible says that we all “sin and fall short of the glory of God” (Rom 3:23). Sin is any time we disobey God, or don’t do something he asks us to do. Generally, I think that sin is simply a deep down dissatisfaction with our lives or the way we feel in the moment. A person may be mad about the way his marriage is going, so he grabs another beer. After a while he may succumb to a full blown addiction. Another person uses food for the same purposes. Some may put down others or live in conflict in order to make their own life seem more significant. Others may misuse power or authority in order to mask their dissatisfaction.

The dissatisfaction, however, isn’t one’s deepest motivation. Behind it is doubt. We doubt that the world is really the way God says it is. We doubt that he really loves us. When we sin, we doubt that his grace really covers us—we doubt we are truly forgiven. This doubt causes us to feel dissatisfied and that causes us to sin. It’s a vicious cycle.

It’s also why the Bible makes such a big deal about faith. It’s why faith is at the heart of Christianity. It’s why the Bible says that “without faith it is impossible to please [God]” (Heb. 11:6). If you are struggling with sin, check your motivation. Do you feel dissatisfied? What are you unhappy about? Do you trust that God has your life in his hands? Do you believe that he created this world and is sovereign over it all? Do you believe that he deeply loves you and forgives you for all of your sin?  Once you begin to truly believe these things you will be amazed at how life begins to change.  You begin to have the kind of freedom only Jesus can bring.

Squadouche instead of Paradise

Orphans sometimes have a hard time figuring out what’s going on once they’re adopted. For instance, we heard about a little boy who was adopted from Ethiopia and was told of the incredible home he would have once he reached America. His nannies promised him the works. They told him all about American homes with their fancy indoor plumbing, their new-fangled air conditioning, and their electronic gaming consoles. The little boy was so excited. When his parents put him on the jumbo jet to fly home, he became inconsolable. He shrieked with terror for hours and hours. Not knowing his language, they could not figure out what was wrong.

This went on for some time, and finally an Ethiopian woman on the plane came over to help. She found out that the boy thought that the airplane was his new home. He had no concept that some contraption could actually fly through the air, over an ocean, to America. He assumed that he had to share his new “home” with the several hundred other people on the flight. He thought his airplane seat was his new bed. He thought his living space was the row in between his two parents. He thought the airplane food was his new diet.

He was horrified.

My favorite C.S. Lewis quote (and there are so many good ones!) is from his sermon Weight of Glory:

We are half-hearted creatures, fooling about with drink and sex and ambition when infinite joy is offered us, like an ignorant child who wants to go on making mud pies in a slum because he cannot imagine what is meant by the offer of a holiday at the sea. We are far too easily pleased.

Could a person literally be living his life like an “ignorant child” who is “making mud pies in a slum”? He cannot imagine something better so he settles for squadouche instead of paradise. He settles for an airplane instead of a mansion.

How about you?