Forgiveness

After giving a talk last week about honoring your parents, afew people approached me about the unthinkable: how can I respect my fatherwhen he has abused me?

Tough question.

There is no pat or easy answer for this of course.  There is only the hope that God’s grace willprevail in our human hearts—that he will give us the ability to broach theunthinkable--that he will enable us toforgive someone who doesn't deserve it—someone who has even hurt usdeeply. 

Talking to the people who were abused, it became evidentthat the desire to forgive was fully there. God had put it there.  Moreproperly, Jesus had put it there by modeling it on the cross.

To each I reminded that it takes time.  You can’t expect it to happen overnight.  And also that we must choose to forgive.  It is not primarily an act of emotion, but ofour will.  You may not feel like doingit, but that does not mean that you cannot do it, or that the forgiveness isn’treal.  Emotion is a tricky obstacle whenit comes to forgiving a painful past.

But in one story, the person is ready to go for it—to forgivea horrifying past.  She is ready to offeran olive branch to someone who did not ask for it, and does not deserveit. 

And in this is the mystery of divine grace.