Respecting your parents

bad parenting?

I gave a talk the other night to twenty-somethings about avery popular topic—how to respect your parents. Actually, it wasn’t at all a popular topic.  Still, I was surprised at the response.  It seemed to strike a nerve.  One guy said he called his parents up in themiddle of the message just to tell them he respected them.  I never had that happen before.

There’s something intrinsic in the 5^thcommandment to honor your father and mother—something tied to our relationshipto God as Father. It seems that if we cannot get that commandment right, thanit is difficult to respect God himself. Many have said that the first four commandments are about ourrelationship to God and the latter are about our relationship to eachother.   If that’s true, then the 5^thcommandment is the first instruction on how to relate well to others.

But you may object: how can I respect my parents when theyhave hurt me?  How do I respect a parentwho has abandoned me?  How do I respect aparental relationship that was abusive? I am sometimes surprised that God doesn’t qualify the 5^th commandment.  He never says: respect your father and motherif they were good parents.  We are not asked to like what they have done,or even obey them as adults, but simply to respect them.

So maybe you have some relationships to mend.  Maybe you have an apology to give.  Or maybe you simply need to offer forgiveness.  The holidays are coming up.  What better time to start on a new journey ofrespecting your parents?