One of these things is not like the other

Matthew, 5 and Kara, 6

So I’m getting a lot of stares these days. A person will look at me, and then they will look down my arm, which is attached to my adopted Ethiopian son’s little arm, and then look at him. Then they look at him, then at me. Repeat. It becomes one of those moments when you want to use that playground phrase that was popular in kindergarten: “take a picture, it’ll last longer.”

I actually wasn’t prepared for the kind of attention adopting Matthew would bring. We were told this would happen upon becoming an “inter-racial family,” but I guess I didn’t believe it. On the airplane coming home, my wife was convinced she was getting shoved by some people as they walked down the aisle. That’s because some Ethiopians view adoption as a negative. It feels to them like stealing their children. The guy who sold me shoes the other day wasn’t sure what to think either. He was African American and had this look on his face like, “where’s that kids father.” I wanted to ask him if he thought he looked “just like me.” (10 people have told me that Matthew looks “just like me.” And yes, I am counting...because it’s funny.)

An elderly lady thought it was the cutest thing seeing us together. She just kept on smiling the whole time we walked by, and shaking her head. I doubt she would have had that reaction if it was my other son with me. He doesn’t actually look that much like me, but he’s white, so there’s that. And I guess that’s what all the stares are really about.  It’s our superficial response to the first impression. It’s only been about a week, so I had better get used to it.

When we begin to see that we are literally part of God’s family, our differences begin to diminish. It no longer matters what we look like, or who our parents are. Our human identity, although important, becomes secondary to our spiritual identity as children of God. When we begin to believe this, the church will become a more ecclectic place, filled with all the beauty of all the nations.