The history of dating

For our young adult ministry, Liquid Tuesdays, we are doinga series on dating.  I started out theseries with a brief history of dating. Many young adults who are finding dating to be anything but enjoyable intoday’s culture, find some relief in knowing that this thing called dating hasnot been around for a very long time.

The earliest one can find the word “dating” in print is1914, and that’s about how old it is. Before that, courtship reigned in the Victorian age for several hundredyears.  Before that, of course, wasarranged marriages.  The idea of findingone’s true love for marriage would have been a strange concept for people inmany cultures, for many thousands of years. Social, financial or familial reasons would have been much biggerfactors in finding a spouse.  Also, theidea of  individuals making all their owndecisions about marriage would have been just plain weird.  Families got together to talk, matchmakerswere procured, dowries or other considerations would have been hashed out.  The advent of the automobile really launchedthe idea of the modern date, as now the couple could leave the hawking eyes offamily members and head out to dinner and a movie. 

The sad thing about the history of dating is that in thepast several decades it has taken a significant moral downturn.  The 60’s and 70’s brought about theprominence of sex in the relationship, the 80’s brought legwarmers, the 90’sbrought fierce independence and emo-angst. The TV show Friends revealed a trend of casual friendship dating,friends with benefits, and dating that is generally not headed towardmarriage.  And now we are seeing a wholenew revolution called internet dating, which allows people to meet in virtualreality without the risk of in-person rejection.

Where all this will go is anyone’s guess.  But I personally hope that younger adultswill reclaim some of the positive aspects of the past, without losing what hasbeen learned in the present.  I hope theywill allow for a healthy community to be active in the process (the church),allow dating to be headed toward relational permanence (marriage), and thatthey will allow Jesus to be the center of their relationship(Christianity). 

It all makes me very glad that I am not in today’s datinggame.

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