A new name

Next month, my son gets his new legal name.  He was Mathewos, and now he will officially beMatthew.  Perhaps more significant isthat his full name will become Matthew Robert Tucker.  In other words, he will take on the name ofhis new father.  I wanted Matthew to havemy name as a symbolic statement about his place in our family.  He is our true son, in every sense of thatterm, barring shared DNA.  He receivesall of the benefits (as well as side effects!) of being my son.

In the Scriptures, receiving a new name was a big deal.  It was God’s statement about a person’s newidentity.  You once were Abram, but nowyou will be called Abraham.  You once were Saul,but now you will be Paul.  You once werean outsider to God’s grace, but now you bear the name of Christ.  Your identity is bound up in Him, with all therights, privileges and benefits that His name carries.

Having a new name also means that our past is justthat.  It’s the past.  The future is ripe with new potential, a newstory, a new life.  Having a new namemeans starting over with a new heritage. It does not forget the past, but neither does it dwell on it. 

No matter what you are dealing with in your life right now,don’t forget the new name that has come to you through Christ!  Through faith, you become his beloved child, bearing His name.

Tom Brady's crazy belief

You don’t have to like Tom Brady to appreciate hisstory.  Just before Brady was picked asthe 199^th pick in the NFL draft, he went for a teary-eyed walk with hismom and dad, wondering why he had been passed over, once again in this, the sporthe loved.  He was looked over in Highschool, and twice in college, losing out to other quarterbacks.  Six quarterbacks were taken before Brady in 2000: Chad Pennington, Giovanni Carmazzi, Chris Redman, Tee Martin, MarcBulger and Spergon Wynn.  

Who even remembers Giovanni Carmazzi?

When Brady met Robert Kraft, owner of the Patriots, he shookhis hand and asked if he knew who he was. Kraft said, sure, you’re our 6^th round draft pick.  Brady looked him in the eye and said, “I’mthe best decision this organization has ever made.”  Now while it may strike you as arrogant for askinny, gangly, 4^th string rookie quarterback to say this to theowner of a proud franchise, it also happened to be true.

But only Tom Brady believed it.

For the next years, Brady dedicated himself to being thebest QB he could, and prepared as if he could be called in at any moment.  Most New England fans had never heard of himthe day he finally got called in to rescue injured Drew Bledsoe, and the rest ofcourse, is history.  In a couple weeksBrady will be playing for his 4^th super bowl ring. 

His story makes me ask a few questions about my ownlife.  First: do I believe in the greatnessof the God given calling on my life?  Also:am I preparing myself in such a way as to be prepared for whatever comes next?  And, do I care too much about who others think I am, rather than who God has made me to be?

How about you?

The history of dating

For our young adult ministry, Liquid Tuesdays, we are doinga series on dating.  I started out theseries with a brief history of dating. Many young adults who are finding dating to be anything but enjoyable intoday’s culture, find some relief in knowing that this thing called dating hasnot been around for a very long time.

The earliest one can find the word “dating” in print is1914, and that’s about how old it is. Before that, courtship reigned in the Victorian age for several hundredyears.  Before that, of course, wasarranged marriages.  The idea of findingone’s true love for marriage would have been a strange concept for people inmany cultures, for many thousands of years. Social, financial or familial reasons would have been much biggerfactors in finding a spouse.  Also, theidea of  individuals making all their owndecisions about marriage would have been just plain weird.  Families got together to talk, matchmakerswere procured, dowries or other considerations would have been hashed out.  The advent of the automobile really launchedthe idea of the modern date, as now the couple could leave the hawking eyes offamily members and head out to dinner and a movie. 

The sad thing about the history of dating is that in thepast several decades it has taken a significant moral downturn.  The 60’s and 70’s brought about theprominence of sex in the relationship, the 80’s brought legwarmers, the 90’sbrought fierce independence and emo-angst. The TV show Friends revealed a trend of casual friendship dating,friends with benefits, and dating that is generally not headed towardmarriage.  And now we are seeing a wholenew revolution called internet dating, which allows people to meet in virtualreality without the risk of in-person rejection.

Where all this will go is anyone’s guess.  But I personally hope that younger adultswill reclaim some of the positive aspects of the past, without losing what hasbeen learned in the present.  I hope theywill allow for a healthy community to be active in the process (the church),allow dating to be headed toward relational permanence (marriage), and thatthey will allow Jesus to be the center of their relationship(Christianity). 

It all makes me very glad that I am not in today’s datinggame.

You can LIKE the Skipping Stone here.

What Tullian Tchividjian said

I’ve been reading Tullian Tchividjian’s (Cha-vih-jin) newbook called Jesus + Nothing = Everything, and really enjoying it.  The premise is in the title, but it’s a hardtruth to embrace.  Tchividjian says thatGod really does offer us everything in the work of his Son, but to accept it,we need to let go of everything else.  Toooften we are prone to add something to our faith to make it feel complete.  Consider it for yourself: Jesus + myambition; Jesus + my bad habit; Jesus + my future; Jesus + my family; Jesus +my job; Jesus + my stuff; Jesus + my relationships… On and on this game goes.

We suspect that one little plus sign after Jesus will do noharm.  We would be wrong.  Adding something to Christ’s sufficiencymakes all the difference between having inner peace vs. a restless spirit. 

I was wondering what I may be subtly adding to the amazing Gospelof freedom.  At times, I fear about myfuture.  I suspect this is a bit of anidol for me—my vision for my life vs. God’s. A daily yielding is necessary to make the math complete.   Jesus + nothing = everything.  His future for my life will be the betteroption.

Do you believe the equation? Or have you added something too?

That's not fair!

One of the things we learned preparing for our adoption wasthat children who are adopted into families with pre-existing siblingsreally struggle with a sense of fairness. It seems strange to think of a child with so little possessions coming into a familywith (relatively speaking) so much, quibbling about fairness.  But that’s the way it generally is. 

In our house recently it has gotten worse than ever.  If another child receives anything "extra", Matthewis quick to point out the perceived inequity. Of course, he receives much more than the others overall as wescramble to help him catch up to what they have (new…everything!).

As usual, I am reminded of our adoption into the family ofGod.  We came from so little, spiritually speaking, and through Christwe arrive at so much.  But we often struggle when it appears Godblesses others, but not us.  Others seem tohave it all, while we are struggling with every day life.  Our attitudes must seem just silly toGod.  How can we have so much and yetforget about it so quickly?

Spend some time today remembering.  Remember all that God has given you inChrist.  Thank him for all of the thingsthat are right in your life.  Remember that he is a great Father.

It's (still) better to give than receive (short home video)

My son Matthew had his first American Christmas recently.  His reaction to receiving gifts warmed our hearts.  As great as his joy was, ours was greater still, reminding me of the words of Jesus (quoted in Acts 20:35) that it's better to give than receive.  Here is a captured moment from our Christmas celebration.

Contagious leadership

In just one basketball game, my 11 year old son learned apowerful leadership lesson that I did not know when I was twice his age.

The score was, um, ...notgood.    The morale of our team was…low. People were playing defense like they just found out their favoritechildhood pet just died.  Energy, effort,teamwork…all by the way side.  It was notlooking good for the Thunder. 

My son was a little discouraged because coach decided tostart him off the bench, something he hasn’t done in years, in this, hisfavorite sport.  I must admit, I was abit surprised myself.  But I told him togo out and be aggressive, to play his hardest, and he will be surprised with the results.  He agreed. And he really poured it on.  He checked his ego at the door and playedlike he was in the NBA finals. 

We lost.

But along the way an interesting thing happened.  His team was inspired by his attitude and effort.  They started playing defense and even made afew baskets.  Their voices were louderand they began to high-five at mid court. Someone gave my son a pat on the back. They were in this game! 

Leadership is contagious. It rubs off.  It leaks.  Your attitude, effort and heart will inspirethose around you.  And it doesn’t matterif you are “coming off the bench” either, as leadership is never from thetop-down, it’s always bottom-up.  It’snot about the role or title you’ve been given, it’s always about simply...leading.  

Finding a sacred space to meet with God

Our lives have been a tad bit unbalanced over the last yeardue to an extra family member and a building project.  We are finally coming down to earth andfeeling things begin to normalize.  Oneof the surprising benefactors of our new space in our home is a place for me toquietly reflect with God in the morning. I have heard from several people that I trust that having a dedicatedspace, free from worries, cares and distractions, is a real benefit.  Unfortunately, I have not had that ideal spotat my disposal.  It has been tremendouslyrefreshing to sit down and meet with God, without a kid saying “daddy look at me,” or have a toy hit me in the back of the head.  Praying and reflecting on the Word aretwo of the most important things that we can do in this life; we should give them ample time and an ample space.

On another note, if you haven’t yet seen the “You Version”Bible app, you should probably check it out. It very conveniently gives you multiple Bible reading programs, and allthe Bible translations you would ever need. You can check it out here.

Do you have a “sacred space” for your times with God?  

Moves like Jagger

I don’t know where he got them from, but my son Matthew candance.  I guess it’s because he doesn’tshare my DNA.  I’m not talking yourtypical 5 year old silly dance, either. I’m talking full out, star-appeal, solid-gold winning moves. For thelongest time I couldn’t figure out where he learned his moves.  I mean, he is from a remote area inEthiopia.  But then I realized hewatches his sister play her Dance game on the Wii. Nice.

If you start playing music in the house, Matthew will startdancing.  One always leads to theother.  Then you will watch him andsmile, and then he will get embarrassed and stop. 

It makes me think of our relationship with the HolySpirit.  Maybe that’s a stretch, butthere it is.  When His presence isprevailing in our lives, our response is immediate; it is joy and freedom andhealing.  In a sense, our spirit dances with Him.  He fills us up, and we show itwith our lives.  Sometimes we get embarrassedand we stop, but we shouldn’t. 

When was the last time you danced?