How do I know God's will for my life?

There are many questions that burn deep within the human heart:

• Why did Alex Trebek shave off his mustache?
• Why is Ron Artest changing his name to “Metta World Peace”?
• When did Cookie Monster start referring to cookies as “a sometime snack”?
• Will they let you play in the NBA when your last name is “Peace”?
• Is that Malcolm in the Middle running for office?
• Really?
• Isn’t he like, 12?
• Wow, he’s 25? Does that make me officially old?

Ok, maybe these are just the burning questions in my heart.

 

My early ministry was spent in youth ministry, and the last 5 years I have devoted to 20-somethings. In that time, the #1 question people want to know is: How do I know God’s will for my life?

 

There are many ways to go about answering this question. Here are a few starting points:

1. Just do it. Sometimes jumping in is the best remedy for lack of direction. Worry less about what exactly does God want you to do, and follow his general will. Follow biblical concepts like “do unto others” and “put others before yourself,” and see how it works for you. You may find that a path for your life gets clearer and clearer. (Read Romans 12:1-2.)
2. Be who you are. Find out what you are good at, and do something for God with your strength. Everyone is wired for something. Adele has a beautiful singing voice. Dirk Nowitzki has a beautiful jumper. Bob Ross painted beautiful trees that could “pop up” just about anywhere. If you don’t know what you are good at, ask some people who know you well. God has promised spiritual abilities to all of his followers.
3. Ask Him. The Bibles says that “we don’t have because we don’t ask.” Whenever I find myself stuck in life, I realize it’s because I haven’t prayed. It’s amazing how God reveals his will to us when we pray. His direction is not always instant, but it comes with time and patience.

If God’s will for your life feels unknown, that’s because it is. But take heart, there are steps you can take to have clarity. You may never have the full picture of your life until that day when you look back on it and see the pathway that has led you to him.

The True Grit of the Father

One of the best movies of last year was True Grit. In the climax of the film, Mattie Ross is bitten by a snake and is going to die. She calls out for help and Marshall Rooster Cogburn responds quickly and determines to save her. He gets her on their beloved horse and drives all night through the desert sands. The horse is so fatigued that he begins to slow down, but the Marshall drives him to keep going. Eventually the horse gives out and the Marshall allows the horse to die in order to get closer to the goal of saving Mattie. When the horse gives out, he swoops the girl up into his arms and starts walking. He walks for miles, all through the night. He eventually spots a cabin up ahead, a sign of safety. He falls to his knees. He can’t make it. Firing his gun in the air is all the physical energy that he has left. But it is enough. He saves her. His “true grit” is revealed.

Do you know how much grit the Father has shown to save you?

Forget about a beloved horse, God allowed his beloved son to die in order to rescue us from certain death. When we call out to him, he sweeps us up in his powerful arms, and carries us to safety. He does not hesitate; he responds at once. There is nothing that can stop his relentless love for us.

I can only relate to this kind of love in a very small way as a father.

Last year at Disney World, my 5 year old daughter burned her hand pretty badly in the Minnie Mouse House. (Yes, I know, the irony is not lost on me.) Even though we got her first aid, it was clear that someone was going to have to bring her back to the hotel. She was crying in the way that parents understand as genuine pain. So I got a big cup of ice, and put her up on my shoulders, and determined to carry her back. I looked ridiculous: big cup of ice on my head, kiddo on my shoulders, her hand in the ice. I walked for some time to get to the entrance of the park, only to realize that the nightly parade was starting. I became like a fish swimming upstream. Thousands of people were pushing against us to get to the parade. I began yelling out: “Hurt kid, I need to get through!” It didn’t help. They kept on pushing. Eventually I got through, only to wait another half hour for a bus—kid and ice still on my head.

I remember feeling like I would have walked all night if that’s what it took to get her back to safety.

But that’s simply how any human father feels for his kids.

Now imagine what the heavenly Father feels for his kids.

There…are…no…words.

Another post on how a father feels HERE
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How I knew she was the one

Today marks my wedding anniversary.

I met my wife at college. When I saw her, some swooning orchestral music began to play and angels danced. The room turned bright pink and started to spin around whilst cupids shot their tiny bows in my direction. (Notice how smoothly I dropped a KJV bomb in that last sentence--whilst).

Nah, actually it wasn’t like that at all. Here’s what really happened:

We were at a retreat and she caught my eye. So I did what every good Christian playah would do: I figured out where she was sitting and sat my Bible next to her seat. Then, after she sat down, I came in with my most innocent “nice guy” look and sat down next to her (swagger like Mark Wahlberg, innocence of Seth Rogan). I must admit, It was one of my best all time moves. But as soon as I sat down, she grabbed her stuff and moved seats. Ouch! Male ego taken down several notches.

But I wasn’t done yet. I had many other moves. I found out that she needed some help on a creative project, so I offered my assistance. As I colored in nametags with neon colored magic markers, I was sure she was wooed by my sensitive side. Then I pulled out the big guns. I “forgot” my sweater when I left.

Oh yea, that’s how I roll.

I pursued her like this for some time. She was still not as impressed with me, as I was enamored by her. Eventually my insecurity won out and I pressured her into making a “decision” about dating me. I gave her a little slip of paper and it said: “Do you like me? Circle Yes or No.” Well, not quite that bad, but it was that immature.

But I’m so glad she said yes.

I knew within weeks that this was someone that I could marry, and that was the critical difference from the other girls that I had dated. It wasn’t too long before could marry turned to should marry turned to must marry. We dated for about 2 years, got engaged, married, and lived happily ever after. Or something like that.

So how did I know she was the one for me? Well, I just knew. And I can’t imagine my life without her.

Check out this popular post: when should I get married.

Is the devil God's nemesis?

Thanks to Marvel comics, everyone knows that heroes have villains. Not only that, but if he is a really great hero, he needs a really great villain, or a nemesis. The idea behind the nemesis is that in this enemy, the hero has met his match. Yea, yea, we all know that the hero will still save the day in the end. But this is the kind of villain that is his polar opposite. He is equal in power, strength and craftiness. But he is opposite in intentions. He may even have a edge over the hero in some way. As a result, the nemesis is able to deal serious damage. He has the power to change the trajectory of the story line. He is a threat to all humanity.

So, you know, Superman had Lex Luthor; Spiderman had the Green Goblin; Batman had the Joker; Austin Powers had Dr. Evil; Charlie Sheen had Charlie Sheen…the list goes on. All of these archenemies changed the plot of the story. They really interrupted the flow of things. They gave the hero a boatload of grief.

Is the devil God's nemesis?

Nope. Note even close.

The power of God verses the evil of the devil is not a sort of dualistic Yin/Yang thing. The Bible describes God in unequalled terms. His power is unmatched. He is limitless. His essence is infinite. He has no beginning; he has no end. The devil can’t touch him. Like in the book of Job, when the devil wants to do a thing, he has to go and ask God for permission. What kind of wimpy nemesis asks for permission?

I love this part in the end of THE story. In the book of Revelation it tells of how the devil will be thrown into the Abyss. The interesting thing is, God doesn’t even do it himself. It says that God sends an angel to do it for him (Rev. 20:1-2). God doesn’t even get his hands dirty. At most, the devil is the nemesis of an angel, but not of God. He can’t interfere with God’s plan. He does not have the power to change the story line. Heck, there’s not even much tension in the story about who is going to win out in the end.

I’m not suggesting that the devil is weak (relative to humans), or that we should take his evil work lightly (we shouldn’t), or that we shouldn’t be on guard against evil forces. But isn’t it great that we can follow a Hero who is infinitely more powerful than the worst force known on earth? The next time you are feeling fearful, anxious, or oppressed, call out to the Hero—he will save you!

I’m also guest posting today over at @thelazychristian…Check it out!

Mid-Week Madness - King James Bible Only

When I was about 10, I was told I ought to read the Bible. So I set out to read one full page a day out of our family Bible. It was the King James version. It was old, had small print, and smelled like moth balls. I had no idea what I was reading, but it felt, well, biblical. I mean, where else could a kid read words like “smite,” “wherefore,” and “burneth”? With words like these, it doesn’t surprise me that there are many people today who love the KJV so much that they claim it is the only true and “authorized” version of the Bible. Other translations of the Bible, they say, have been corrupted. Recently, I was even criticized for using the NIV in a message at our church. So I have a confession to make. I really don’t like the KJV. There, I said it. And here’s why:

1. It’s not the most accurate translation that we have. The main reason for this is the discovery of the Dead Sea Scrolls in 1947. The good news is, these scrolls showed us how amazingly accurate our translations had been. But now we could make them even better by cross-examining them to these even older manuscripts.
2. It’s so hard to read. It uses words that we just don’t use anymore. God, in his grace and providence, has continued to bring us a readable version of his Word throughout the centuries. One of the reasons for the Reformation was to get away from the Bible being only in the hands of those that could understand it. Unless you’re fond of reading Shakespeare, leave the KJV on the shelf.
3. The NIV is a really good translation! And there are other good ones as well. I like to use the NIV for public speaking, because it is the most widely owned, and it is very accessible. But I like reading my daily devotions from the New Living Translation (NLT) because of its readability. For study, I prefer the New American Standard Bible (NASB), since it is the most “literal” of the translations.
4. Despite what people think, it is not the original Bible. The original was written on manuscripts in Hebrew, Greek, and Aramaic. Trust me, after many years of studying the original Bible languages, you don’t want to. Hebrew, for instance, reads right to left on the page and looks like squiggles. That’s right, I said squiggles. Don’t worry though, our translations are amazingly accurate and true! So choose one you can read and understand, and compare it to others to get a deeper understanding.

Even though I don’t prefer the KJV, I am so glad that God has given each generation, and virtually every language and people group, a Bible that we can read and understand. His Word is still a primary way that he speaks to us today, so we need a form that fits. Perhaps a better question than which translation is: are you reading it every day?

Only listening to "Christian" music

When my family took the plunge into church life, I was in junior high, and one of the first rules was: no more “secular” music. I remember my brother had a hard time with this rule, as he had to rid himself of a pretty hefty collection of classic rock. Jimi Hendrix, Led Zeppelin, AC/DC…all in the garbage. Of course they were on cassette tapes, and as everyone knows, the only proper place for a cassette tape is in the garbage. In their musical place came the fabulous offerings from people like Steve Green, Sandy Patty, Amy Grant, Petra, and my personal fav, Stryper. Ahh Stryper. It made our musical listening quite…(how shall I say?) eclectic. From AC/DC to Amy grant—It was quite a leap.

Somewhere along the way “Christian” music became worth listening to. Bands like Switchfoot and Jars of Clay broke new ground lyrically and musically. The worship movement gave even more reasons to listen. Plus, they dressed better. (I once ran into Chris Tomlin’s band members at a conference and I'm still in awe of their fashion sense. I mean, who else can wear a scarf in the summer?)

But all of this still begs the question: should “Christian” music be the only thing on your playlist? After all, won’t it make you more holy? I mean, aren’t we supposed to keep ourselves separate from “the world?”

Here’s a few reasons why it may be better to balance your listening choices:

1. There’s no such thing as “Christian” music, only “Christian” people. It may be kind of obvious, but things can’t be Christians. Music cannot be, and neither can lyrics. Music can be good or bad based on taste. Lyrics can be good or bad artistically and morally.
2. We need to listen to today’s poets. Unfortunately, not all of them are saying good things, but they tell us about the people we are trying to reach. Paul did this in Athens in order to try to reach the people there (Acts 17:28). Musical artists are today’s poets, and they help us to understand the zeitgeist of our culture.
3. All truth is God’s truth. Another obvious statement, but if it’s true, we should seek truth in many places including books, movies, and songs. Human truth is universal, because God came up with it. Music is often a way to put heart behind those universals.
4. The artistry is going to be better if you look at a broad array of music, rather than just one niche. Please don’t hear this as “secular music is better than Christian music,” but rather as, music is music. There are better and worse forms of it. As a fan of jazz, for example, I would be missing out if I only listened to Christians who happen to play jazz.
5. It will make you appreciate “Christian” music more. Right lyrics coupled with right music can bring us to the throne room of heaven. Not all music can accomplish this, but some forms can better than others.

No matter what kind of music you listen to, the key is that it brings honor and glory to God in your heart, mind and your soul.

Thoughts?

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Steak and Hotdogs (guest post)

Today I have a special guest post from Rachel Snyder over at The Lazy Christian.  She has a fun way of writing blogs about faith including her own struggles.
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When I was 20, my dad helped me buy a car. At the beginning of the process, he told me to look around at cars and see what caught my eye. I hadn’t really looked at cars before, so this sounded like a good idea. After about a week, I decided that the Oldsmobile Alero was the one that had “the look” I liked. I shared this joyous information with my dad in the following fashion:

“Oh, delight! Oh, rapture! Father, I’ve found a car that suits me! The Alero is most pleasing to mine eye!”

I was an English major. I’m sure it sounded exactly like that. My father’s response was as such:

“Rachel, that’s a $30,000 car! You want steak on a hot dog budget!”

Far less eloquent, but I got the point. No Alero. I got a little Saturn, and that thing (Romeo, if you want to know his name) just had its 10th birthday and is still running like new.

Last week while we were on vacation, we had cable. We don’t typically, so I tried to sneak little moments of TLC or HGTV here and there. On some house-hunting show, the host told the couple, “You want champagne on a beer budget.” Same idea! The couple had tastes that were out of their budget, so they were trying to find an inexpensive house they could fix to look expensive.

Then there were other shows where people seemed to have unlimited funds to do whatever crazy things they wanted to their home. A $10,000 chandelier from the 1840s in the bathroom? Sure! Decorative fire pits next to your pool and spa, which are next to your designer outdoor kitchen and living room? Of course! I’ve always wanted to build a house right outside of my existing house.

That’s what happens when you have a steak budget and you actually opt for the steak, I guess.

But all that opulence got me to thinking: What’s my mindset? I don’t want steak on a hot dog budget. I don’t want to live outside my means. But if I had a giant bank account, would I want to spend like crazy? Live in a palatial estate with every convenience possible?

I think I’d feel—greedy.

We’re a one-income family, but we’ve managed to budget so that we feel comfortable. We’re tithing enough, we’re saving enough, we have what we need. But my new goal is to act like I have a steak budget and opt for the hot dog. Be content with just enough. Learn how to be comfortable with less.

Ugh. It’s so counterculture, though. Everyone wants more! Bigger houses that fit more stuff! Bigger cars, too! I need a giant suburban assault vehicle to go to the grocery store! I can’t settle for less! This is the American dream!

Keep your life free from love of money, and be content with what you have, for he has said, “I will never leave you nor forsake you.” – Hebrews 13:5

Do not love the world or anything in the world. If anyone loves the world, love for the Father is not in them. For everything in the world—the lust of the flesh, the lust of the eyes, and the pride of life—comes not from the Father but from the world. The world and its desires pass away, but whoever does the will of God lives forever. – 1 John 2:15-17

Then again, if you make it a choice, then you’re not settling. You are actively saying, “This is what I want. This is what I choose. This is how I am called to live, so this is how it’s going to be.”

Easy to say, right? Not quite so easy to do. I think I need to start by never watching HGTV again. And then find ways to choose the hot dogs over the steak.

Any suggestions?



© Rachel Snyder/The Lazy Christian 2011

Mid-Week Madness: Quitting Coffee

A few months ago I stopped drinking coffee. At all. No coffee. I really love coffee too—the smell, the taste, and especially the pick-me-up.

Now you may be already judging me. Two camps: you are thinking, “Wow, no coffee. What a loser. He is obviously not very emergent. He probably doesn’t even use a MacBook.” Or, you could be thinking, “Wow, no coffee, how disciplined! He probably reads Spurgeon and writes poetry.” But the truth is, I had to give it up. Doctor’s orders for some minor health issues.

But here’s what happened next. I had a massive headache for 4 days straight. Pounding. And every morning I continue to stumble over to where the coffee pot used to be, but it isn’t there. And several times throughout the day, I desperately wish I could have a delicious hot cup of Joe.

Sometimes I even settle for a cup of decaf.  But it feels…so…impotent.

What this experience has taught me is what we already know. We love to medicate ourselves to feel better from the smallest of ailments. We do it for sleepiness, and then we do it again when we want to go to sleep. We pacify our minds with music and TV so that we don’t have to think about our problems. We grab a bag of chips to curb the slightest hunger we may feel.

But what would happen if we allowed ourselves to “suffer” just a little bit each day? Would we be better off for it? Would we become more like Jesus? Would we at least be reminded of all the pain he went through for us?

I was talking to my friend Randy the other day. Randy is a professional counselor who helps people with substance abuse issues. He is also a recovering alcoholic and drug addict. He told me that former addicts tend to trade in one addiction for another. A heroin addict might become a chain smoker. An alcoholic might become a coffee-holic. One addiction is clearly better than the other, but the heart impulse is the same. He said that we all want to feel better right now. He said we should allow our minor sufferings to prompt us to evaluate our hearts.

So ask yourself this: what is an area of your life that you might be willing to give up for a time, in order to experience some minor “suffering”?  The results might surprise you.

Wow, what an unpopular idea. Comments?

Temptation

When I was a youth pastor in New England, I used to take my group to a retreat weekend deep in the mountains of New Hampshire. One of the hidden gems was the tubing hill. It was a bit of a trek. You would get all bundled up, and walk for like a half mile into the woods, through 2 feet of snow. Just when you felt like you were lost, you would come to an opening in the forest, where an amazing slope had been carved out. What made the tubing hill so thrilling was that it was so unsafe. There were trees on either side, it had a rough surface, and the grade was very steep. To top it off, if you actually made it all the way down without falling off the tube, you would end up on a frozen pond. Whether or not the ice would hold you up was anybody’s guess.

I loved this hill.

But the hill has now come to represent a metaphor—a picture of temptation. The three stages of tubing show us something about how sin works. They are the same stages found in James 1:14-15:

But each person is tempted when they are dragged away by their own evil desire and enticed. Then, after desire has conceived, it gives birth to sin; and sin, when it is full-grown, gives birth to death.

Desire
At the top of the massive hill we look down. We contemplate whether or not we should go through with it. But it always looks too awesome to back out. Plus, other people are doing it. Eventually, we decide to sit on the tube and push off.
Sin
Once sliding down the hill, the exhilaration is palpable. The wind whips on your face. You start to feel like you are going to fall off. This is the fun part. You should probably bail out now so that you don’t reach the frozen pond below.
Death
If you made it this far, you missed the bail out. The frozen pond is in view. You wonder if it will hold you up. You hope it will. You hope you won’t die today.

All of us face temptation. It’s only by God’s grace that we avoid failure. The next time your find yourself at the top of the hill, pray. And then take your tube and go home.

Divorce: Rough on Kids.

I feel for those going through a divorce. It is a painful and unpleasant experience.  Someone just came into my office last week to talk about it. But she didn’t come to talk about herself, she came to talk about her child. She inherently knew that divorce would take its toll on him, and wanted some advice as to how to diffuse the situation. As she talked, I found myself thinking about my own experiences as a child of divorce, as well as giving her some things to think about for the future.

Here are some of the ways that divorce is rough on kids:

1. Abandonment. Divorce is often internalized as abandonment by a child. I was 9 years old when my parents divorced and I remember feeling very alone. It was just me and my mom now. I remember feeling that it was now my job to take care of her. I would have to bear the burden of responsibilities. I was left to do the “man” duties around the house, and I didn’t especially want them.
2. Betrayal. Every marriage starts with a promise. It is a promise to stay together “till death do us part,” but it is also a promise to protect future children. In time, kids begin to identify divorce as a betrayal of that promise. Because trust is shattered, they often have trouble trusting others in the future. Kids may also begin to feel that divorce was somehow their fault. It’s easier to accept that blame on yourself, than to have trust betrayed by the ones you love.
3. It takes away financial stability. We became quite poor for several years following divorce. My mom and I subsided on a minimal income of food stamps and whatever job she could hold. The financial side effects had crippling effects long into my college years. It also left me alone in a house for long hours after school while she tried to make ends meet.
4. It’s complicated. One of the worst parts of divorce never ends. It’s a logistical nightmare. Kids are forced into a situation of visitation or shared custody that is confusing, alienating and frustrating. I remember having to pack up my clothes every week to visit the other parent. Just when I got used to being in my new environment, I would have to pack up again and go home. Unfortunately, this scenario does not end when you turn 18. The complications of divorce still ripple in my life today. Holidays, birthdays, vacations, visits home, step-siblings/parents—all are made much more difficult.
5. It shakes your identity. For a long time after my parent’s divorce, my identity was shaken. Without a father around for a period of life, it was difficult to frame who I was. From the simple—what sports team do I root for? To the complex—what do I want to be when I grow up? This lack of identity leads to a lack of security. Boys and girls of divorce will often feel inadequate among their peers, even if those peers are going through the same thing.

I could easily go on with a list like this, but these are some of the roughest ones. They are the reasons why God hates divorce (Mal. 2:16). But if divorce is beyond your control, there are many ways to get help for your kids. One of the best programs that I am aware of is called DC4K--Divorce Care for Kids. We are running it at my church with wonderful results. But also remember that God can redeem even the worst circumstances. I know, because He did for me!

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Does God Really Answer Prayer???

There’s a big hole in my backyard that says he does.

Let me tell you about it. A little over a year ago, my wife and I decided that we needed more room for our family of 5. We live in a modest rancher, and our two girls share a room. Not normally a problem, except that one is in kindergarten and the other is in Jr. high. And it’s a small room. [Think iCarly meets Dora the Explorer.] I did something no parent should ever do—I made a promise to my oldest that she could have her own room.

We started the process of refinancing our home so that we could afford to add an extra bedroom onto our house. Before finishing the loan, I went to Sendafa, Ethiopia where God called us to adopt. As it turns out, adoption costs roughly the same as adding an addition to your home. (Who knew?) And now we had a choice to make. We were definitely planning to adopt, but the funds were already slim. (Not to mention that the “funds” were really a “loan.” So now we had a big loan to pay back, no addition, but with an extra kid in our small house!

So we started strategizing how to make it all work with the amount of money that we had. But it didn’t. In fact it didn’t even come close. At the same time, a large bill came in that was unexpected, and it seemed like were in deep trouble. For the first time in a long time, I entered a dark period of fear and doubt. It only lasted about 3 days, but it was pretty intense. We prayed, and wondered how He would make it all happen. I remembered the promise that I made to my daughter that she would get her own room. I knew that God would come through somehow—but how?

Meanwhile, my wife Lesa was telling some of this story over the fence to our neighbors. It was there that our prayer began to be answered. “I may be able to help you out,” our neighbor said. Help us out? You mean like a cup of sugar and a pint of milk, kind of help?

Nope, not that kind of help.

Turns out he meant complete help, using his abilities and his dad’s resources to build an addition onto our home.

When I look out my back screen door, and see the giant hole that will soon become an addition, I see it as a kind of reminder of the faithfulness and goodness of God. He is incredible good. He answers all kinds of prayers! And he answers them in better ways than we could ever imagine.

Mid-week Madness: Dumb Acronyms

Is there anything more boring than a health care meeting at work? Ours was at church the other day and it went something like this:

Yea, you’re gunna need one of those EOB’s for your HRA, which is in form BFA. Also, we are now offering an FSA. It works like your 403b, except now you have a new BC to use at your local CVS. Be sure to file the FSA in your 1040-ES.

Wow, talk about killing my dreams for the day. You lost me at EOB. Do people really talk like that? (I mean besides in the military, the federal government, and Starbucks). Could you imagine this talk in everyday life? Today would sound something like this:

I started my day by watching ESPN in HD on my HDTV. It’s in 1080P, so it looks AOK. My wife, LT, called me upstairs to eat a PB+J on WGB. She’s my BFF. My BFF-FL. I drove my TC to LWCC. FYI, I was so tired at work, I felt like AARP. At lunch they told me to BYOB, but it’s church so I BMOS. I g2g, it’s time for ESPN again.

Do you think this is how new people at church must feel?

Waiting for Matthew (our soon to be adopted son)

I can see by your picture update that you are getting bigger. Looks like that high-protein diet is really doing its job. That’s good, because you are going to need all the energy you can get to keep up with your new sister, Kara. She is so anxious to meet you. She keeps asking questions about you, especially about what you will like. “Will Matthew like to play on the swings with me? Do you think he will like soccer? Do you think he will like going to my school?” We always tell her yes, he will enjoy all of those things.

You’re also going to need a lot of energy for a big journey ahead of you. If all goes well, you will travel over 7,000 miles to your new home. It’s going to be quite an adjustment for you. New food, new language, new customs, new people, new…everything. But, if you’re like most 5 year olds don’t worry. Your new favorite food will soon become McDonald’s chicken nuggets!

I’m sure that you will grieve this transition. It’s normal to feel sad for all of your loss. You will miss the caregivers and new friends that you have made at the orphanage where you are now staying. You will miss the countryside of your homeland. And surely you are already mourning the loss of your family. There must be a hole in your heart at the loss of your father when you were only two years old. You must be grieving the loss of your two older sisters. And of course your mother. How you must deeply miss your mom. I’m sure that when she recently got sick, giving you up had to be the hardest decision of her life. I want you to know that this is not how God intended this world to be. Poverty and sickness are not part of God’s original plan. And they have robbed you from what should have rightfully been yours—a family. We will never forget the tragedy that is bringing you to us. We don’t expect you to forget it either.

But there is healing in life.

And we are so full of hope for you. We can see God’s plan bringing us together to form something new. And although it will be tough at first, we know that it can become a place of healing and joy for all of us. God wants you to have a mom and dad again…and two sisters! And for a bonus he wants to give you something you didn’t already have—an older brother. And your new brother is so thrilled to finally have a brother of his own! God is already beginning to fill in the missing pieces of your life, and ours.

Your picture is on our refrigerator door. Every day I walk past it and I look at you. I pause for a moment before I walk by, and I smile. I smile because of how happy you look in the picture. You are so beautiful. I smile because I imagine your new life with us. But mostly I smile because soon, you will become my son.