the wounds of the fatherless

In his book, Fatherless Generation, John Sowers uses the same stats I have seen regarding the social science of growing up without a father. Sowers is the new head of the Mentoring Project, which is the organization that Donald Miller founded to help alleviate the fatherless epidemic in our society. Sowers reminds us that fatherless homes account for:


• 63% of youth suicides

• 71% of pregnant teenagers

• 90% of all homeless and runaway children

• 70% of juveniles in state operated institutions

• 85% of all youth who exhibit behavior disorders

• 80% of rapists motivated with displaced anger

• 71% of all high school dropouts.

• 75% of all adolescents in chemical abuse centers

• 85% of all youths sitting in prison

Take a moment to let these stats sink in.

The breakdown of earthly fathers with their children here on earth is linked to the breakdown between us and God. Jesus came to earth to “show us the Father” (Jn. 14) and restore our relationship with Him. Every time a child is left without a father by abandonment, death or neglect, a “father wound” is opened up. This wound leads to all kinds of problems and pain apart from the healing that Jesus brings. This healing comes by really having a True Father who adopts us into his family.


Unfortunately, many people on this planet are still suffering the effects of fatherlessness. I stumbled across a video blog the other day that brought tears to my eyes. It was a very popular teenager blogger who wanted to address father’s day for those who don’t have a father around. He entitled the video: “happy father(less) day.” He was trying to be funny and cute. He had cutouts of himself dressed up like his mother, trying to fill in for not having a dad—playing catch and learning how to shave. But when the blogger tried to conclude the video in person, he could not do it with the same silliness that he intended. He started crying, and thanking his mom for doing the best she could to fill in for not having a dad. What struck me most was what followed. There were over 77,000 comments. Some were about him crying on YouTube, some were silly, but most were short stories about feeling exactly how he does. “I know just how you feel, my dad left me when I was 4.” “I know just how you feel, my dad left us when I was 6.” “We found out my dad cheated on my mom.” “My dad died when I was a baby, I never knew him.” On and on and on these comments went. The tears were welling up in my eyes as I read them. It was as if, for a brief moment, I was feeling the weight of all the pain of all the fatherless children, in all of the world. It’s what Jesus feels for you and me all the time.


So if you’ve stumbled over this post, and you have tears in your eyes too, you’re not alone. I know just how you feel. But more importantly, so does Jesus. He heals the brokenhearted and binds up every wound (see Psalm 147:3). But the question remains: What is my part to play in the fatherless epidemic?