Love Wins: the Second Act

I was reading this morning and was reminded of a very important truth. Many right now are depicting God’s Grace solely on the first act, but the Bible is quite clear about it: there’s going to be a second.

Paul was preaching his guts out to a bunch of Greeks who didn’t really care much of what he had to say. (I picture him really getting into it: he’s probably spitting like Tony Campolo.) At the climax of his message he says this:

“For he has set a day for judging the world with justice by the man he has appointed, and he proved to everyone who this is by raising him from the dead.” (Acts 17:31 NLT)

Justice is the second act of the grace-story.

In fact, you really can’t have grace without it.

Think about it. If my kids were misbehaving, and I gave them a pass you might call it grace. If I gave them a pass each and every time they misbehaved, you would call it bad parenting. Plain and simple.

But God is not a bad parent.

His grace covers all sin. His justice makes all things right. There is a second act to the story and it is this: Jesus is coming back and he is not coming back as “8 pound—6 ounce...new born infant Jesus, who doesn’t even know a word yet”! Nope, he is coming as the “rider on a white horse…a conqueror bent on conquest” (Rev. 6:2). The second-act Jesus is the same as the first-act Jesus with one exception—his mission. The first time he came to rescue and the second time he comes to restore. The first time is to seek and save the lost, the second is to separate the sheep from the goats. The first time he comes as the Lamb of God, the second time he is the Lion of Judah.

So when you think about the grace of God, particularly through his son Jesus, realize that love does win, but in more ways than one.

PORN: no big deal?

“If you sent a bottle of vodka to every home in America every week for a year, you would no doubt have a whole wave of alcoholics. The internet has created a wave of pornography addicts with its pervasive porn delivery mechanisms.” (Craig Gross, founder of xxxchurch.com)

For me it would be nacho cheese Doritos, but whatever.

A “wave of porn addicts” coming your way! But here’s the rub. Many of our most amplified cultural voices send a clear message that pornography is no big deal. Today it seems kind of innocent to remember when Seinfeld opened up a can of worms talking about the “M” word and being the “master of one’s domain.” But I have since seen sitcoms that laugh openly about porn, writing it off as ordinary and commonplace; it’s what every guy does. And according to Oprah, it’s what a growing number of women also do.

According to our culture, porn doesn’t hurt anybody. It’s a victimless crime. In fact, it’s a victimless non-crime.

But is that true? Here are some of my quick-thoughts on why you should avoid pornography:

1. You can never get enough to satisfy.Porn is something that people often look at in order to forget about their real life issues. You have a bad day, you feel disrespected by your boss, or you’re just fatigued—look at some porn. Experts tell us that porn starts with milder forms, but quickly leads to the more deviant. The titillation factor is no longer enough to arouse. Because of this sliding board effect, some people may eventually begin to act out on their fantasies by visiting strip clubs, prostitutes, or other sexual encounters.
2. It affects your real life relationships.Listen to what singer John Mayer said in an interview last year: “Internet pornography has absolutely changed my generation’s expectations. How could you be constantly synthesizing an orgasm based on dozens of shots? You’re looking for the one photo out of 100 you swear is going to be the one you finish to, and you still don’t finish. Twenty seconds ago you thought that photo was the hottest thing you ever saw, but you throw it back and continue your shot hunt and continue to make yourself late for work. How does that not affect the psychology of having a relationship with somebody? It’s got to.” Porn turns a human into an object of lust. It dehumanizes. It puts selfish desire in the front and other’s needs in the back.
3. You could lose your job.1/5 of employees look at porn at work. I personally know of people who have lost their livelihood because of porn. The addiction became too much for them to reserve for home, they were caught at work, and they were fired.
4. Porn leads to divorce.½ of all divorces site porn as a contributing factor. It breaks down trust, love, and healthy sexuality.
5. Jesus doesn’t like it.Jesus’ words on this issue are really clear. He simply says that “anyone who even looks at a woman [or man] with lust has already committed adultery with her in his heart” (Mt. 5:28). Tough words to live by, to be sure. But he gave these words to us as a blessing, not a curse.

If you are having a problem with porn, there are many good ways to get help. Talk to a trustworthy friend or pastor, get counseling, find a support group (like “Band of Brothers” at LWCC), get an internet filter, and check out xxxchurch.com for more resources.

Rajon Rondo and the Jesus Jersey

My son proudly wears the number 9 whenever he can. His favorite article of clothing is a #9 sweatshirt, and he is #9 on his soccer team. The reason? Simple. Rajon Rondo is #9.

For those who aren’t sports fans, don’t worry, this post is not about sports. (Even though you should know that watching Rondo play basketball is like watching a world class figure skater or an elite gymnast. He’s like a championship boxer or a world class swimmer. He’s like a…sorry, I digress.) My son wears Rondo’s number for one simple reason: Rondo is a great basketball player.

I am not a fan of Christian t-shirts. My mother used to mail me one every Christmas until she realized that I never wore them. It was cool though, because I simply re-wrapped them for Yankee Swap. I dunno, I guess I always thought that if I had to advertise my faith on my t-shirt, then I was probably doing something wrong. Like, if my life wasn’t real enough to notice, no amount of Christian paraphernalia would cover that up. Also, I was always afraid that the moment I did something bone-headed in public, there I’d be, wearing my WWJD? tee.

But just like my son proudly wearing his #9, every fiber of my being declares loyalty and allegiance to my Lord. Jesus is a great Lord. In fact, he is the only one. A sports star can be celebrated by a jersey, but there is no human garment that could adequately express the glory of Jesus. The closest we could get is a different kind of clothing described in Is. 61:10:

I am overwhelmed with joy in the LORD my God!
For he has dressed me with the clothing of salvation
and draped me in a robe of righteousness.
I am like a bridegroom in his wedding suit
or a bride with her jewels.

So a good question to ask yourself is this: are you overwhelmed with the Jersey of Jesus?

Good Cop Bad Cop: Bristly God vs. Affable Jesus

A young adult once told me that she loved to pray to Jesus, but she had not yet been able to pray to God. I asked her what she meant, and she verbalized what many are afraid to say: “Jesus is nice, but God scares me a little bit.” At first I thought her theology of Jesus was off. Clearly she did not realize that Jesus is God. But that wasn’t it. She realized that the Bible taught that Jesus is God. She just didn’t like the Old Testament (OT) version of God.

Now, you may be shaking your head at this new Christian’s sense of it. But the reality is, many people have felt this tension. How can Jesus be so affable while the God of the OT seems irascible?

This perception of God has actually become quite popular. But I don’t think that it takes a full view of God, nor a full view of what the Bible reveals about him. It starts with two wrong assumptions:

1. Even though we may understand that Jesus is God, we often think of him as something lesser than God. But Jesus declares that “I and the Father are one” (Jn. 10:30). He says that anyone who has seen him has seen the Father. (Jn. 14:9) The Bible teaches that God was pleased to have “all his fullness dwell in [Jesus]” (Col 1:10). If Jesus is God, then it makes no sense to think of the OT God as crabby, and the NT God as friendly.
2. We often feel that in the OT God was severe and in the NT God is full of grace. But the Bible teaches that God “is the same yesterday, today and forever.” (Heb. 13:8) God doesn’t change. He is constant. So to think that he went through a metamorphosis from the OT to the NT is not optional. Both grace and justice are revealed in God in the OT and the NT.

The importance of all of this is that in the Gospels we see God up close and personal in Jesus. We get a closer look. We get to know God better! The one that sometimes seems fearsome and all-powerful is also gracious and loving. The reverse is also true. The Jesus we may view as affable is also severe and full of justice. He is the one described in the future as a “rider on a white horse…a conqueror bent on conquest” (Rev. 6:2)!

So as you meditate on Jesus, try to realize the fullness of who he is. And when you read the OT, see the arrows that point toward him. This fuller understanding of God will inform your reading of the Scriptures and shape your beliefs on everything.

Marriage: "like" or "love" ?

I’m doing a wedding this weekend. In preparation, I came across this powerful verse from an underrated book of the Bible. “For love is as strong as death, its jealousy unyielding as the grave. It burns like blazing fire, like a mighty flame. Many waters cannot quench love; rivers cannot sweep it away. If one were to give all the wealth of one’s house for love, it would be utterly scorned.” (SOS 8:6-7)

About 50% of all marriages end in divorce.

Look at what the passages says about love again: it is as strong as death, and it burns like a blazing fire, it cannot be quenched, it cannot be swept away. If this verse is true (and it is), and it is also true that half of all marriages split apart, then what does that say about love in marriage? Frank Sinatra sang that Love and Marriage go together like a horse and carriage. But do they? Because if they did, then marriage statistics would be much more positive.

I think we have to conclude that the kind of love described in this passage does not exist in many marriages. A lesser form of love is a replacement, one that rides on feelings, life circumstances, and outward conditions. But it is not a love “as strong as death.” It is not a love that burns like a blazing fire. It is a fickle kind of love, that is better described by the word “like.” It is swept away by the pains or desires of this life.

One of the saddest things about divorce is the children that it often leaves behind. In many cases, these children often feel abandoned by one of the parents, most likely their dad, and the wounds cut deep. They often feel like it was their own fault. Sometimes they are simply confused by it all. It takes years for these wounds to heal, and in my opinion, they can only be fully healed with a relationship with God.

If you are divorced and you are reading this, my objective is not to discourage. God grants second chances—new beginnings. And if you are a child of divorce as I am, I hope that you know the healing that God gives through his Son. And let all of us who are married continue to allow God to grow the love that we have with our spouses. The one we merely began on our wedding day. May it truly become a blazing fire. Don’t just settle for “like," strive for love.

More wounds of the fatherless - a true story

When I first met Kaye* she was in pretty bad shape. She refused to stop cutting herself on her arms and legs. Mainly she would use pins so that the marks weren’t as obvious to her teachers and friends. She told me that she cut in order to relieve the pain of her real life. She was so angry. She was angry at God, and she was angry at people. But mostly, as we talked over the next few months, she was angry at her father.

Like many people, Kaye suffers from a “father wound.” Her father left her family when she was young, took another wife, and never looked back. Kaye couldn’t figure out how to be “daddy’s little girl” again. She could not get him to look at her the way he once did when she was little. She could not get him to notice her at all. Now, it seemed, he was caught up in his new life, caught up in himself. Caught up in his new family. Like so many others, she felt abandoned, hurt, replaced, rejected.

The night she tried to kill herself I was called into the hospital to see her. She couldn’t put words to why she hated herself so much in that moment. She just felt the pain that welled up inside her. I remember meeting her mom for the first time that week, and seeing the tears in her eyes as she talked about her daughter. She didn’t know how to make things right. She was still trying to fit the pieces of her own broken life back together. Kaye’s dad didn’t visit her that week. He never called. He was never heard from. More pain. More anger. The cycle of being fatherless.

Kaye has had her ups and downs throughout the years that followed that night. At times she has been able to see the love of the heavenly Father through Jesus. She has also felt the loving embrace of a church community. She has even sensed what spiritual adoption might look like—the real-time acceptance of a Father who is always present. But she has not been able to fully embrace this reality. She has not allowed herself to be fully embraced by Him. Perhaps it seems too good to be true. Perhaps she feels too vulnerable. Perhaps that Father may end up hurting her like her earthly father did.

I keep a case of pins in my desk drawer that Kaye gave me years ago. She gave them to me on a day of surrender. I keep them to remind me of the pain of the fatherless. I keep them because I know that Kaye’s story is not over yet. The Father’s love is too big and too grand to let her go. His love is relentless. His love is overwhelming. His love is enacted in Psalm 147:3 as the one who “heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds”!


*of course this is not her real name